Overcoming Obstacles
by fananicfan
Summary: Originally written as a one shot piece to a challenge story another site last year, this story ended up as a multi-part piece. The story begins two weeks after the episode 'Trojan Horse'.
1. Chapter 1

The characters are not mine, but the story is.

Setting: Two weeks after the episode 'Trojan Horse'

OVERCOMING OBSTACLES

I'm stuck in traffic on my way to meet Clay for dinner. It's the first time that I've seen him since I met Simon and spoke to him about 'the spy business'. However, it isn't the insights that I got from Simon that occupy my thoughts, it's Harm ... or, more precisely, part of an encounter with him during a break between my interviews with Simon that repeats in my mind every time I think of Clay.

******FLASHBACK******

Mac: Are you trying to throw me into his arms, Harm? Is that really what you want?

Harm: If you love him, it doesn't really matter what I want.

******END*******

Why is it that just those few lines exchanged during our time on the investigation are the only part of the conversation that have been playing over in mind since our return from the ship - two weeks ago?

I take in a deep breath and let it out slowly. I need to get in the mood to see Clay. I owe it to Clay not to be thinking about Harm when I'm on a dinner date with him.

I take in another breath as I'm finally able to move my car forward several feet.

"The men you pick." The words that Harm said years ago echo in my head.

Why does his opinion matter so much to me? Of course, I don't ask him for input. He volunteers his opinion. He certainly doesn't ask me about the women he dates, and I'm sure that he wouldn't give my view much weight if I volunteered my opinion. My openly expressed anomisty towards Renee certainly didn't steer him away from her. Then why is his approval of the man in my life so important to me?

You know damn well that it has nothing to do with wanting his approval. You want him to show interest in you. You want him to say that they're not good enough for you - that you need a man like him. To which, you'd respond, "Is that an offer?"

I move the car forward another few feet.

"If you love him, it doesn't really matter what I want," he'd said before turning around to go where he needed to go and letting me go to take care of my interview.

What does that mean? It implies that he wants something that he can't have if I'm in love with Webb.

I want to be in love with Webb.

"Damn you Harm," I say in the private sancutary of my car. "You always do something like this when I've declared that I'm over you."

My cell phone rings. My car is once again at a complete stop in traffic, so I reach over to the passenger seat and pull my cell phone out of my purse. I half expected it to be Harm, but it isn't...it's Clay.

"Hello, Clay," I say cheerfully.

"Hello, Sarah...I called to say -"

"Tell me that you called to say that you can't wait to see me. Tell me that you called to say that you're stuck in traffic, too, and you might be a little late. Tell me that you called -"

He interrupts. "I wish I could say any of those things, but I can't. I called to tell you that I've been called away. Our romantic dinner and dancing will have to wait until I get back."

"I haven't seen you in two weeks. You have to eat. Can't you have dinner with me before you have to leave?" I try not to whine like a spoiled child throwing a tantrum, but I'm tired of this 'one-sided relationship.'

"I can't. I'm sorry. I'll call when I get back ... or maybe I'll stop by your place when I get back so I can make it up to you for having to cancel on you again."

"Fine, Clay, but I'm sending you the bill for the dress that I'm wearing. I bought it specifically for tonight," I say before slamming my phone closed and throwing it in the passenger seat.

I'm so frustrated that I slam my palms against the steering wheel.

After Paraguay, I felt the need to connect with someone. I wanted someone to be there for me. I _needed_ someone to be there for me. The tug of war with Harm was too much, and I ended any possibility of that ever happening with one word, "never." But Clay hasn't been the answer. It was okay when he was recovering and in rehab and I could see him, but now that he's back at work, I realize that I can want or need him only when it's convenient with his schedule. A long term relationship with him isn't going to work. His availability is even worse than Harm's. I don't know if I should be thankful for the time I did have with him or be angry that it's taken me almost a year to figure out that Clayton Webb is _not _what I need.

I'll end it when he returns. As if I'd just uttered magic words, the traffic begins to move - a few feet and then I'm doing ten miles an hour, then fifteen, but now I don't have any place to go on this Friday night.

ONE HOUR LATER

Harm's Apartment

I'm standing in the hall with a bag of 'to go' food firmly grasped in one hand.

Why did I come here? Why do I always come here when my relationships go to hell? Is it so that he can tell me that he was right about the guy? Just what I don't need right now - Harm gloating that he was right again about 'the man I picked.'

I've got two entrees and I'm here, so here goes. I give the door a solid knock.

I hear laughter. At the office earlier today, he mentioned that Mattie was going to be with her father this weekend, so he must be entertaining. I feel like a fool. Why did I come here? I should have at least called.

I can eat one entree tonight for my dinner and one tomorrow night. I start to turn around to head back to the elevator, but his door opens.

"Hi, Mac. You look great," Mattie says, greeting me.

"Thank you." I don't know what to say about the reason I'm here.

"My dad and I are getting a late start because he got caught in traffic getting here, but we're leaving now. Come on in." She doesn't seem to be surprised that I'm here. "Harm, we're leaving, and Mac's here," she shouts towards the bedroom.

I step into his apartment and greet Mattie's father. "Hello, Tom."

"Hello, colonel. Mattie's right. You look lovely this evening," he replies.

"Thank you, Tom."

I see a shadow out of the corner of my eye to my right. I turn my head slightly and see Harm coming down from his bedroom.

"I'll see you Sunday night," he says to Mattie.

"Yeah, and next time you've got a date, just tell me. I can wait for my dad at Jennifer's."

"I don't have a date," Harm assures Mattie.

"Whatever you say..." Mattie says to him while rolling her eyes. "...but that isn't an 'I was in the neighborhood dress' that Mac's wearing."

A couple of moments later, Tom and Mattie are gone. The hair on the back of my neck is standing up because Harm has been staring at me for the last forty-nine seconds since his apartment door closed behind them.

He clears his throat after another ten seconds and breaks the silence. "Mattie's right. You look fabulous."

"I was supposed to have dinner with Webb, but he cancelled at the last minute. Since you mentioned that Mattie was going to be with her father this weekend, I thought that I might be able to interest you in having dinner with me." I say the latter, lifting the bag in my hand to show him that he doesn't have to cook.

"Is there anything in there that won't keep or can't be reheated?"

"No, I can take it home with me." He must have another engagement.

"Then put it in my refrigerator for now and give me ten minutes," he says as he dashes back to his bedroom.

NINE MINUTES AND TWENTY-NINE SECONDS LATER

I find my heart thumping heavily in my chest as I look at him coming my way. Does that man look good in everything? He's wearing a dark gray suit with a light blue shirt and a dark blue tie.

"I'm ready," he announces.

"Ready...for what?" I ask.

"It's my duty as an officer and a gentleman not to let how beautiful you look in that dress tonight go to waste. I'm taking you out to dinner."

His tone infers that it should have been obvious to me what he was doing.

He holds out his arm. "Shall we go?"

I take his arm and, moments later, we're leaving his apartment.

RENDEZVOUS RESTAURANT

The tuxedo clad host approaches his podium. "Do you have a reservation for this evening, sir?"

"Yes, Rabb for a table with a river view."

"Yes, Mr. Rabb, right this way, sir."

After we're seated, I have to ask. "Harm, this has got to be at least a four star place. You mean to tell me that you can call here minutes before you arrive and not only get a table, but one overlooking the Potomac on a Friday night? How is that possible?"

"I know the owner."

"What's she like?"

"What makes you think that it's a woman?"

"You mean it isn't?"

"I didn't say that -" He's cut off by a woman whose salt and pepper hair is pulled back away from her face. My guess is that it's in a bun. She appears to be in her sixties.

"Harmon Rabb, I was beginning to think that you'd been transferred away from DC."

Harm stands. "No, Mrs. Manchester. I just haven't had a reason to dine out recently, but I had a very special person drop by to see me this evening and I wanted to treat her to a very nice dinner. Mrs. Manchester, this is my guest this evening, Sarah MacKenzie. Mac, this is Mrs. Manchester, a long time friend of my mother's."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss MacKenzie."

"It's nice to meet you, too, Mrs. Manchester."

"Call me Molly. Everyone does except Harm. I think that he's afraid that I'll tell his mother that he's out here running amuck and not minding his manners." She laughs. "Now, if this is a special occasion, let me get Pierre to bring you a bottle of champagne...on me."

"No thank you, Mrs. Manchester. Mac isn't a drinker, and if I drink the whole bottle, I'm too big for her to carry me out to the car," Harm says with his charming smile.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," he replies.

"Then your desert will be on me. I'll leave you to look over your menu, but I'll be back to check on you."

Molly steps away from the table to make small talk with some of her other guests.

"I'm sorry. I thought -"

"- That some old flame was the owner of the place," he finishes for me.

"Yes."

"Don't be sorry. The little spark of jealousy in your eye when you thought that it was, actually made me feel good." I look at him confused. "It's a sign that you still care."

He's doing it again. He likes keeping me off balance. It's his way of keeping me close without letting me get too close. I look down at my open menu. "Everything on the menu looks delicious. Have you decided what you're going to order?"

He lets me get away with changing the topic of conversation.

"I'm not sure. The crab salad is wonderful, but the grilled salmon is good, too."

HARM'S APARTMENT

We ate a leisurely dinner. The dinner conversation was light and fun. I'd had such a wonderful time that, when Harm pulled up in front of his apartment building a minute ago, I felt sad that our evening was over. This left me in a weakened state of mind, so, when he asked if I wanted to come up and have a cup of tea, I said yes.

Now I'm sitting at his breakfast bar, watching him put water in a kettle. "Do you have a preference for any special flavor of tea?"

I've been staring at him, wondering how we could have such a nice evening but could never make a relationship work, so his question startles me, but, with his back to me, he doesn't notice it. "Whatever you were planning to have is fine."

He turns, places the kettle on the stove and turns on the burner. Then he loosens his tie and leaves the kitchen area by way of the opposite end of the counter from where I'm sitting while removing his jacket. He puts his jacket and tie over the back of one of his dining table chairs and moves back into the kitchen. He then removes mugs and tea bags from a cabinet and places them down on the counter next to the stove. When he starts to unwrap one of the tea bags, he speaks. "I had a good time tonight."

"Me, too."

"Mattie's gone until Sunday night. We could go out tomorrow afternoon and catch an early movie and then come back here and heat up what you brought over tonight."

"Are you asking me out on a date?"

"Since you have a boyfriend, I don't think that we can call it a date. It would be a meeting of two people who share common interests."

"What time tomorrow?"

He smiles, but it's his expressive eyes that have my heart beating faster and a warm feeling coursing through me from my head to my toes.

THE FOLLOWING DAY

HARM'S APARTMENT

This is ridiculous, Rabb. You have sweaty palms and you've been pacing for the last half hour. Everything went fine last night. Everything will be fine tonight. You've had dinner with Mac before.

Yeah, you've had dinner with her before, but last night that feeling was back in full force - that unexplainable "thing" that we've never been able to name...and can't deny. The fallout from Paraguay had shattered it, but the shards must have remained scattered within us. Now the pieces have gravitated back together and, last night, I knew that, though I'm sure that it shows some stress fractures, it's whole again ... and, from what I saw in her eyes last night, she feels it again, too.

I hope that what I saw wasn't just the candlelight on the table and my wishful thinking, but that it was really there. That's why I'm nervous tonight. What if I find out tonight that I was only imagining the looks? the feeling?

A knock on the door has me taking in a deep breath. She's here. I open the door. She isn't as dressed up as she was last night, but she looks beautiful just the same in her jeans, top and jacket.

"Come on in. Did you want to check the paper to see if there's a movie that you'd like to see or are we going to wing it...just go to the theater and decide when we get there?"

"I don't really know what kind of movie I'm in the mood to see, so let's just go, see what's playing and decide there."

"You've got it. I'm ready. Let's go."

HARM'S APARTMENT AFTER THE MOVIE

We're sitting at the table eating our dinner. We've been talking about the movie that we saw, but, as I take another bite of the dinner that I'd brought over last night, I can't help but remember the reason why I'd come here. I'd wanted to confront Harm about what he'd said.

"Hey, you okay?" he asks.

I don't know what he said before that. "I don't know." Why did I just confess how uncertain I am about my life right now?

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really...I'm handling it. You know, I think that Mattie's been really good for you. You seem...I don't know, more... relaxed...no, that isn't it, maybe more...I'm not sure, but something."

"It's been great having her around. With her and her father talking, I'm wondering how long it'll be until she's ready to go back to live with him."

"I thought that's what you'd hope for, for them to reconcile."

"It is, but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to miss her. In fact, I've been thinking about it so much that I....never mind."

"No, tell me what you've been thinking."

"No, it doesn't matter. It was a thought that I had, but, after thinking it through, I ruled it out."

"Ruled what out?"

He eyes me as though he's weighing whether or not he can trust me with his thoughts, but he must decide that he can or that he's willing to risk it because he speaks. "I thought about, if or when Mattie goes back to her father, I'd adopted a child. Okay, go ahead and laugh."

"Why would you think that I'd laugh? I think you're a good dad. Why did you dismiss the idea?"

"For logical reasons ... look how hard it was for me to get guardianship of Mattie, which I wouldn't have been able to do without your testimony and you talking to Tom. What do you think my chances are of being able to adopt?"

"I'd testify for you again."

"Thank you, but there are other considerations."

"Like..."

"My job, my schedule and..." He has that look again, like he isn't quite sure that he can trust me with the information that he's about to give me. "...and because I never pictured being a dad without ..." He trails off. This conversation is painful for him.

"Without what?"

"Without a mother in the picture..." He pauses. "I told you that I'd thought it through." He sighs. "How did we end up on this subject anyway? I was asking you if you agreed with what the cop did in the movie we saw."

"Harm, I want to tell you that I brought this dinner over here last night because I needed to ask you something ... but I wasn't sure how to bring it up. So, I brought dinner, hoping that I'd figure out a way to ask that didn't sound like I was confronting you."

"Mac, we've known each other for a long time. At this point, if you need to know something - just ask."

"Why do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Why do you wait until I've given up on you...us...and then you do or say something that causes me to question myself?" I look him in the eye. I see him searching mine for clarity to my question. "At my engagement party, you kissed me, though you rebuffed my advances in Sydney Harbor. I've been dating Webb for almost a year, and you tell me that, if I love him, it doesn't matter what you want, implying that you want something with me, throwing me into another bout of questioning my choices."

He opens his mouth to answer, but I stop him by placing two fingers over his lips.

"Never mind. I just realized that it doesn't matter why you do it. It only matters that you stop. When I date the next guy, you need to stay out of it. My choice in men may be poor, but it's my choice. You don't get a say. We're friends, so I appreciate you being there when my date cancels, and I'm there if and when you need someone to testify for you to adopt a child. There's no way around the fact that we're part of each other's lives, but we need to have more defined boundaries and, from now on, my love life is out of bounds."

His gaze into my eyes has intensified as I've spoken, so I'm expecting some 'fallout' from what I've said.

"You said 'when you date the next guy'. Does that mean that you're not in love?"

I figure that I owe him the honesty that he gave me about adopting. "Yes, that's what it means. In fact, I left him a voice mail that it was over last night on his machine at home because I deserve to have a man who I can call when I want to talk, no matter the time. I didn't call his cell phone because I can't when he's on an assignment. I know that breaking up by answering machine is an insenstive and rude way to do it, but I don't know when I'll hear from him again. That was the problem with dating Clay. Everything was on his time schedule. How can a girl compete with national security? If he wants to talk when he gets back, I'll meet with him. I owe him that, but I've made up my mind. It's over, and I don't want to wait until whenever he drifts back into town to end it. I need to move on with my life." Having answered his question, I'm expecting to get a response concerning my comments about our relationship. I get a response, all right, but not the kind that I was expecting.

"What are you doing next Friday night?"

"Nothing that I know of yet. Why?"

"I think that we should go out on a date and discuss what I want."

"Harm, what exactly are you saying?" I think I must be confused. Did he just say "date"?

The hand that I've had resting on the table top feels the warmth of his hand wrap around it.

"I think that we should have dinner on Friday night to discuss the boundaries of a different kind of relationship between us. What do you say? Will you go out with me?"

"Yes, I'll go out with you," I choke out, feeling a bit out of sync. I think the earth just shifted on its axis.

"I'll pick you up at say 1830. Dinner reservations for 1900, sound good?"

"Sounds wonderful," I sigh as I look into the eyes of the man who I don't have to want to be in love with...I already know that there are no boundaries on my love for him.

"Do you have a restaurant preference?" he asks.

"No, anything you choose will be fine."

We spend the next few minutes eating in silence, but with my hand still in his, resting together on the table.

I break the silence. "You said 'date', Harm, right?"

"Yes."

"I don't know." I can't believe that I'm the one backpedaling, but I need to be sure that I understand his offer. "Are you sure that you want to go out on a date, date?" I look down on our hands and then back up into his eyes. "We've put each other through some things, particularly in the last year or so that we'd need to talk about, you know, a lot of obstacles to work through for there to be an 'us'."

He releases my hand. I feel fear start to knot itself in my stomach. He's going to call off our date. Good job, MacKenzie, you've broken up with him even before your first date. That's something new for you. Why did I have to say anything now? I know why. Last night felt like a date, and I had a wonderful time. I'm trying to protect my heart.

"I know, but I'm ready to talk whenever you are. I want us to work through whatever we need to in order to have a clear path into the future together." He lifts his goblet of mineral water. "I propose a toast to our first date."

The warmth and tenderness in his eyes makes me a believer, and I reach for my goblet. "To our first date and overcoming obstacles."

"I'll drink to that," he says as our glasses clink. We smile at each other as we bring the rims of our glasses to our lips.

I wonder if he's thinking about the same thing that I am - about our lips coming together in our first real kiss.

The End


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

FRIDAY NIGHT

BEDROOM

MAC'S APARTMENT

1730

MAC'S POV

'I'm so glad that I left the office thirty minutes early to get ready for my date with Harm tonight,' I think as I stand in front of the mirror, wearing potential outfit number three.

I can't believe that I'm having such trouble picking out something to wear. After all, this isn't my first date ever.

"That's true, but it's your first date with Harm," I say to the woman staring back at me from the mirror before deciding that this outfit isn't right either.

I'd decided that my first outfit, consisting of a pair of pants and top, was too casual. My second outfit's plunging v-neck was too revealing, and this outfit is too loose. I want him to remember that I'm a woman, but I don't want him to think that I'm trying to seduce him.

Now, I'm looking in the mirror at my fifth attempt at dressing myself, a recent purchase inspired by Chloe and her interest in the environment. The dress is part of a "green" line of clothing. The dress is made of bamboo.

The fabric is a shade of green, somewhere between mint and jade, which flows away from the bust, creating a flowing, flirty and fun element to the dress.

So far so good, I think as I continue to scrutinize the dress in my reflection.

The wide straps that crossover in the front before being hooked around my neck to form the halter top of the dress accents my bust. The snug fit across my breasts certainly shows that I'm a woman, but the width of the straps and the crossover style reveals no cleavage, so I don't feel exposed or feel like I'm being blatantly sexy.

The dress isn't dressy, but it isn't too casual either. It's cocktail length. Yes, I think it'll do nicely with my cream wrap and ... 'Oh god, do I have shoes that will go with this dress?'

Picking out my shoes for tonight went much faster. It took only three tries. I've just finished putting a woman's essential items into a clutch bag when I hear the knock on my door. He's here.

1823

I glance into the mirror one last time, hoping that I've picked the right dress before heading to my living room to answer the door.

One of my moist palms makes contact with the door knob while the other flips the deadbolt over.

I open the door, and a sight that causes a hitch in my breathing greets me. I swear that he's more handsome this evening than I've ever seen him. He's wearing a brown suit with a cream colored shirt and an emerald green tie. When I get the door fully open to allow him entry, the light from my apartment casts enough light that the gold threading in his tie sparkles.

"These are for you," he says in a deep voice.

I'd been focusing so much on the way he looked that I didn't see the flowers in his hand before he spoke.

He's holding out a mixed bouquet of wildflowers. I reach out to take the offered gift. "Please, come in. I want to put these in water before we go."

As he steps into my apartment, I turn to go to the kitchen to tend to my flowers.

After filling a vase with water and placing the flowers in it, I leave the kitchen, stopping at my dining table to put down the vase, and look towards Harm, who's hovering around the front door like he's never been in my apartment before tonight. I guess I'm not the only one who's a little nervous about our first date.

"I just need to get my wrap and clutch from the bedroom to be ready."

After I get a nod from him in acknowledgment, I head to the bedroom to retrieve the items.

Before exiting my bedroom, I take in a deep breath to calm my nerves. I can't believe that Harm is out there waiting to take me out on a date. If I weren't so nervous, I'd think that I was dreaming. However, when I've dreamed of our first date ... when I've dreamed about being with him in any way ...

The dream that I had two nights ago comes to mind, reminding me of one of the emotions that I feel when I dream of him, and nervous isn't it. I feel the heat in my cheeks as I remember the passionate way that we kissed in that dream. I have to take in another deep breath to recover from the memory of that kiss.

I exit my bedroom. "I'm ready. Are you?"

"What?" he says like I spoke to him in a foreign language.

"I'm ready to go if you are."

"Oh, yes, I'm ready. Let's go," he says and moves to open the door for our departure.

THE MUSIC ROOM - A DINNER AND DANCING CLUB

WASHINGTON, DC

HARM'S POV

In my sleep before last week, I'd dream of the day that I'd take Mac out on a date and what a wonderful time we'd have, but for the last week I haven't been having those pleasant dreams. No, for the last week I've been having what I've dubbed the "Murphy's Law" dreams.

It isn't the same dream each night, but the end result in each of them is the same. After various disasters throughout the evening, everything from a flat tire to her getting a phone call from Webb in the middle of dinner, I know by the end of the evening that there's never going to be an 'us'.

Back at her apartment her wording, 'I'm ready. Are you?' threw me because it reminded me of another dream that I'd once had - more of a day dream, actually. However, the outcome of that one is unknown to me. It certainly wasn't going my way up until it was time to leave the restaurant. It was the same words that she'd uttered earlier this evening that were the last ones that she'd uttered in my daydream and, as I'd left the restaurant that evening I'd had a new sense of hope that someday ... somehow ... she and I would be an 'us', but, tonight, her words just made me more nervous about our date.

As I'm following behind Mac, who's behind the hostess showing us to our table, I wonder if she's feeling any of the same sensations that I am about being on a date with me.

As we're being seated, I hazard a glance in her direction. She looks beautiful. I'll bet she was ready in fifteen minutes. I spent forty-five minutes picking out this suit. I might have taken longer, but I ran out of time. If I hadn't gone with this suit, I'd have been late to pick her up.

At least my palms stopped sweating when we reached the restaurant - no flat tire on the way here, so that calmed me down some.

MAC'S POV

The conversation during the car ride here was about the unseasonably warm weather and the fact that even the heavy winds weren't making the evening seem cool.

As we were being seated, I thought about how awkward being out with him felt. Not at all like the way I'd imagined this evening.

I'm looking over the top of my menu at him. What kind of conversation did I expect us to have tonight? Tonight isn't like any other first date. We've known each other for eight years. There isn't much left for us to 'get to know' about each other, unlike a normal first date with someone.

"Have you eaten here before?" I ask.

"No," Harm answers distractedly.

"No menu recommendations for me this evening, then?"

"No, not this evening," he says flatly, apparently more interested in the menu than conversation.

I look back down at my menu.

"I think I'll have the halibut," Harm says, or maybe announces would be more accurate.

When I look up at Harm, we make eye contact. There's something different about his eyes – the way he's looking at me tonight. "I was leaning towards the prime rib," I say breathlessly.

I'm saved from myself by the appearance of our waiter.

"Good evening, my name is Michael and I'll be your server this evening."

A few moments later, Michael has left us to retrieve our beverages, and the awkwardness that's been between us since we left my apartment has returned. I think I prefer the awkward conversation in the car to this silence, though.

I start to say something to break the silence when Michael reappears with our drinks.

"Were you going to start with an appetizer this evening?"

"I'd like to try the stuffed mushroom caps. Would that be okay with you or would you like something else?" Harm asks me.

His question catches me off guard. I didn't expect to be included in the decision. "Actually, I'm more of a desert person than an appetizer person, but if they appear on the table, I doubt that I'll let you eat them all by yourself."

"Mushroom caps it is then," Harm says to Michael.

"I'll be back in a few moments with them, sir," Michael says and is gone again.

I close my menu and reach for my glass. As I take a sip of my beverage, the uncomfortable way that I'm feeling makes me regret saying yes to this date.

As I lower my glass back to its place on the table, Harm's voice is deep and almost seductive when his question pulls me from my thoughts.

"It'll be a few minutes before the appetizer arrives. If you've made you dinner choice ... " he says, moving his eyes to my closed menu on the table. " ... while we wait, would you like to dance?" he asks as he waves towards the dance floor that's located several feet to the left of our table.

"That would be very nice," I answer, happy to have something to take the place of conversation.

He stands and extends his hand, offering it to me. I place my hand in his and stand.

He guides us to the dance floor.

Once we reach the dance floor, he turns and puts his other hand on my hip, and I step in closer to him.

He's looking into my eyes like he wants to say something, but he doesn't open his mouth to speak.

We're moving in measured steps like we've never danced with anyone before. When in fact, not only have we danced before, but we've danced with each other on more than one occasion. The space between us is more than respectable, and I wonder if it's because he wants to be able to see my face, my reaction to what he says, or if he's trying to maintain a 'dancing with your sister' distance with me.

As if he can read my thoughts, he finally speaks.

"I want to apologize for not saying it sooner, but you look beautiful tonight."

"Thank you. You're looking pretty good tonight yourself."

"Thank you," he says as his arm slips around my waist and he pulls me closer.

I guess I got my answer. He wanted to tell me that I was beautiful before pulling me in close.

I'm soon in his embrace and close enough to smell the aftershave or cologne that he's wearing, and our previous precise movements are replaced with more of what I'd call a romantic sway.

We began to dance in the middle of a song, and the next song begins and ends before we stop dancing.

We return to our table, and all my doubts about being here with him this evening are gone. The moment he took me into his arms, the awkwardness, the discomfort was gone. I was at home in his arms. I just hope that he feels the same way.

BACK AT THE TABLE

MAC'S POV

The awkward silence between us returned as we began to share the appetizer. So it seems that the first obstacle that we must overcome is less complicated than I'd thought it would be - we need to get the conversation flowing with the ease that it did last week.

Michael appears and serves us our salads, and I wait for him to leave once again before making another attempt at conversation.

"The mushroom caps were quite good, don't you think?" I say as I plunge my fork into my salad plate.

"They were pretty good."

A few bites into my salad, I attempt conversation again.

"Is Mattie with her dad again this weekend?"

"Yeah."

His answer is only one word, but the tone of it is sorrowful, and I regret bringing Mattie up as a topic of conversation. The silence returns as we continue to eat our salads.

I eat in silence, fearing that if I say anything, it will make things worse instead of better. My heart constricts at the thought that tonight might very well be my first and last date with Harm and that the time for an "us" has passed.

HARM'S POV

Mac hasn't said a word since we started our salads. Since Michael should be appearing in a few minutes to ask us about desert, I know that I should say something. I don't know what my problem is with talking to her tonight. This is Mac ... just talk to her. If you don't start talking to her soon, when she gets back to her apartment, she's going to write in her diary that she just had the worst date of her life.

"Mac, do you keep a diary?" Where did that come from? Has calling this a "date" instead of "dinner with Mac" really caused my brain to turn to mush? "That's a very personal question. I shouldn't have asked," I hastily add apologetically.

"No, I don't. Do you?" she answers, apparently comfortable with answering such a personal question.

"No, Mattie does though."

"Were you thinking about her?"

"Not really ... " I begin, but Michael's arrival gets me off the hook. I've never been so glad to see a waiter. I didn't know how I was going to explain what I was thinking without sounding like I've already given up on us ever having a second date.

I look from Michael to Mac, "Unless you object, I thought we could just sit here and let our dinner settle for a few minutes ... maybe dance again before we have desert."

"I have no objections," she quietly replies.

"Then, I'll check with you again in a little bit," Michael says before disappearing again.

We sit at our table in silence through two songs before it dawns on me that the dance floor is where I've felt the most comfortable with her tonight, so I decide to ask her to dance again.

"Would you like to dance again now?"

"Yes," she replies softly.

I stand and extend my hand to her, and she takes it - much the way she did earlier.

We reach the dance floor and, not wanting to assume that it's okay to hold her too close, I slip my arm around her waist, trying to gauge an appropriate distance between us. I don't want her to feel like I think of her as my sister, but I also don't want to pull her too close, too soon. This is, after all, our first date.

AT MAC'S APARTMENT DOOR

MAC'S POV

The evening didn't get off to a good start, and there was more than one or two awkward moments during the evening, but, in his arms on the dance floor, I felt like we were the only people there. I think he might have felt the same because, when we went back to the dance floor, we didn't stop dancing until the band stopped playing for a break.

When we returned to our table, I ordered desert, not because I was hungry, but because I didn't want our date to end.

As I ate my desert, I thought of how odd it was that I'd gone from wishing that I'd never had said yes to this date to not wanting it to end during the course of the evening. Now that I have my key in the door, I'm sad that we're about to say good night.

"You want to come in for a cup of coffee or tea?" I ask.

"I don't think so, not tonight," he answers softly.

"You know, if you weren't hoping that I'd ask you to come in, you didn't need to walk me to my door," I say as I push my door open.

"I know, you're a Marine ... but you're also a very attractive woman, and I wanted to make sure that you got home safe and sound."

"Thank you," I say to him before kissing him on the cheek.

"Good night," he says softly before turning to leave.

"Harm," I stammer out, causing him to turn back around.

"Yeah," he says to acknowledge that I've gotten his attention.

"Are you sure that you don't want to come in for a few minutes? It's still early. We could talk."

HARM'S POV

Her brown eyes are casting their spell on me as she makes a second attempt to get me to come inside her apartment, so instead of leaving, I nod and step towards her and the open door.

"Make yourself comfortable and give some thought to whether you'd like something to drink. I'll be back in a minute."

I watch her walk towards her bedroom until she disappears into the room. I take a seat on her couch, wondering why I let her talk me into coming in to talk. I know why ... because, even with the uncomfortable moments, I enjoyed her company and, when we were dancing ... there were no obstacles. We were in sync, and it felt good to have her in my arms.

"Did you want something to drink?" she asks, pulling me from my thoughts of her in my arms.

I look up to see that she left her clutch, wrap and her shoes in her bedroom.

"No thanks. I'm fine." I figure that this talk that she wants to have is the 'we should stay friends talk' so, though I don't want to hear it, I'm eager to get it over with so that I can go home and lick my wounds. "What did you want to talk about?" I ask as she sits down on the couch next to me, but not too close.

"At first, I thought that calling tonight a 'date' had thrown us off, but, as the evening progressed, I had to wonder if it was more than the label."

Here it comes. Brace yourself, Rabb.

"But it isn't the word date as much as it's the definition of the word that I feel made for some awkward moments tonight."

What in the hell does that mean? Is my thought, but I don't have to ask because she's still talking.

"I mean, by definition, a date is the process of two people going out to get to know each other. If this had been a first date for you or me with anyone except each other, your date would've found out that you're practically a vegetarian and mine would've found out that I'm not. The second date might include trying to decide on a movie. They'd find out that you don't mind a movie with subtitles and that I hate the idea of having to read my movie. I read books. I want to watch a movie. The third date would reveal something else new and, if we continued to date, then the revelations would become more personal like my date finding out that I'm an alcoholic or your date finding out that you have Mattie."

She's nervous and is rambling. So far what she's said doesn't sound like it's going to be the 'let's forget about us dating' kiss-off that I was expecting, so I keep listening to her. I guess I'm guilty of being a hopeless optimist.

She takes in a deep breath. "What I'm trying to say is that we know all the stuff that you learn about each other through dating. There's no point in us dating."

Okay, that was the kiss-off. She just wrapped it up too nicely for me to see it coming.

"I understand. No more dating. I've got it ... no problem. Unless there was something else that you wanted to say, I think I'll head home now," I say before standing to leave her place for mine. I don't have anything to say. I need to get out of here. "Good night," I say as I make short work of the floor between me and the door.

I hear her say, "Good night," before I close the door behind myself.

MAC'S POV

I'd cry, but my system is in shock. What just happened?

I was explaining that the word date or dating doesn't cover what there is between us. I think that we should call it something else or don't label it at all. Just go out and let things happen as they happen, no hurry, no pressure, but forward motion towards whatever the future holds for us. So, why did he leave in such a hurry?

IN HARM'S CAR

HARM'S POV

'What in the hell just happened?' I think as I pull away from the curb in front of her apartment building.

I know that the evening didn't go as smoothly as I would've liked, but it wasn't that bad. It was at least an okay date, and an okay date should've given me a shot at a second date before she wrote me - us - off.

We shouldn't date because we know each other. That's the dumbest thing that I've ever heard. I realize that you date to get to know each other, but when you get to know each other well enough, she becomes your girlfriend, and you work on a relationship.

That's what I should have said. I let her say never and walked away. I'm not doing it again. Right or wrong, I'm fighting her this time.

MAC'S APARTMENT

HARM'S POV

I knock on her door - pound really, once, twice before she opens the door.

"Harm, what is it?"

"I left because I didn't want to push you, but I decided that you might misinterpret my silence as not standing up or fighting for you, and that's just not the case at all."

MAC'S POV

"I left because I didn't want to push you, but I decided that you might misinterpret my silence as not standing up or fighting for you, and that's just not the case at all," he says with a tight jaw, but he doesn't seem angry, just determined as he walks past me into my apartment.

'This is an interesting turn of events,' I think as I close the door. I turn to see that he's now standing in front of my sofa.

"Would you like to sit down?" I ask as I make my way over to him.

"I didn't come here to sit. I came back here to get something off my chest."

"Sounds serious."

"It is. In fact, it's probably the most important thing that I've ever said."

He certainly has my attention now. I take in a deep breath, bracing myself for what I fear he might be here to say. "Go ahead."

"Mac, I didn't say anything earlier because I didn't want you to think that I was pushing you into something that you weren't ready for, but, on my way home, I thought you might take my silence as me not being interested in you enough to fight for you. So, I decided that I needed to come back here to tell you that not dating because we know each other does make sense to me, but that's no reason for us not to see each other again. We just need to look at our going out differently. We're past basic dating. We're at the girlfriend/boyfriend level and well on our way to being involved in a relationship. It may not be the way it should be, but it's the way it is for us. I'll make you a deal. If you go out with me again and you still hate it, I'll drop it and never bring it up again. What do you say?"

"I'd say that I now believe that you understand what I was trying to tell you earlier. I guess one of the obstacles that we'd better overcome quickly is learning how to talk to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend."

"That's what you were trying to say earlier? That we need to skip the basics of dating? But I thought you were -"

"Dumping you? I was just ... it doesn't matter now. Kiss me!"

"What?"

"I think that my boyfriend should kiss me good night when he drops me off after we've had dinner, don't you?"

His jaw relaxes and the corners of his mouth turn up into a warm smile. "Absolutely," he says a fraction of a second before his lips touch mine.

THE END


	3. Chapter 3

AN: This chapter is so long that it is in two parts. Here is part one.

CHAPTER THREE

MAC'S POV

"I think that my boyfriend should kiss me good night when he drops me off after we've had dinner, don't you?"

His jaw relaxes and the corners of his mouth turn up into a warm smile. "Absolutely," he says a fraction of a second before his lips touch mine.

The kiss is like our kiss under the mistletoe, coming up on three years ago now. We both knew that it was coming, but it was a little awkward, yet pleasant.

We've barely put space between our lips after the first kiss when his arms wrap around me and our lips meet again. The awkwardness is gone and the kiss is soft and tender.

The second kiss comes to a natural close, and he pulls back, loosening his hold on me as he does.

"Mac, I ...I'd like to kiss you all night, but..." He stops speaking, and I don't know if he's trying to find the words or if he simply needs to take a breath after our kiss.

"...But?"

I see sadness in his eyes as he finishes his thought. "...but...we've agreed that there are obstacles to overcome, hurt feelings to address...I think we need to do that first..." His body tenses, and his eyes look away from mine. "...and I want you to have time to be sure that you're ready for "us". I don't want to be your rebound guy."

"I see," I say, stunned by his honesty, but the sense of hurt that I feel is the one that takes over my actions, causing me turn and pull from his loose embrace.

He catches my arm as I try to get away. "Do you? We've had misunderstandings before, so I want to be clear. I'm saying that, if you love or loved him...it may be too soon for you to be involved with any one." He tugs at my hand and moves towards me until he can slip his arm around my waist. He looks me in the eye once more. "I don't want anything to ruin our chance of making "us" work. I want you to know that, if you need time...I can wait. That's what I meant."

The sincerity in his eyes melts my anger, and I put my arms around his neck as our lips come together in a kiss of understanding and hope.

When the kiss ends, he pulls back and says, "I really need to go." The regret in his voice is evident to me. "Do you have any plans for tomorrow?" he asks as his arms drop back to his sides.

"No," I say softly.

"Then, why don't we go to a movie, take a walk, have lunch or dinner...I don't know, something...anything as long as we do it together."

"I'd like that," I say, trying to hide my disappointment that he's leaving now.

"I'll pick you up at noon. We can decide what we want to do over lunch." He waits until I give a nod of agreement before he places a kiss on my forehead and says, "Sweet dreams." Then he walks towards my door.

When he exits my apartment, I feel chilled, as if he's taken all the warmth in my apartment and in me with him.

NEXT DAY, SATURDAY

MAC'S APARTMENT

1030

MAC'S POV

I've started to call Harm on five different occasions to cancel our lunch, but I didn't want him to perceive it as some kind of rejection when the simple truth is that I'm tired. I didn't sleep a wink last night.

The events of earlier in the evening haunted me, and I found myself thinking about my relationship with Harm, Webb and just about everybody else that I know, as well as the events of the last year.

Harm is a rare breed, a truly noble gentleman and, last night, not taking advantage of the situation and my vulnerabilities only proved that to me once again.

I stand up, leaving my comfortable position on the sofa to go to my balcony doors to check the weather before I decide what I'll wear today.

I pull back the drapes and see that the sky is filled with dark clouds and that the day is gray and gloomy.

I should call Harm and tell him that it looks like we're in for a nasty storm and that we shouldn't go out today.

I go to the phone for the sixth time, but I don't pick it up because I know that Harm was right about us needing to talk. If he cancels, I'll see it as a sign that we were just never meant to be, but I won't be the one who backs away from what is probably our last chance.

I think jeans and a top would be fine for a day like today as I head off to my bedroom to change for my date...my meeting...lunch with Harm.

1115

I have forty-five minutes left before Harm is scheduled to arrive. I go to the balcony again to see if the clouds have moved on or not. I find that they haven't. In fact, it's begun to rain.

I decide to make us lunch so that, once Harm arrives, we won't have to go out in this awful weather.

1140

Though I'm low on supplies, I've managed to make us something edible for lunch. Since the search through my refrigerator and cupboards took twenty-five minutes, I decide that I should have another look outside to check the weather again.

The news isn't good. The flood gates have opened up and, along with the rain, there's thunder, lightening and high winds. It's no weather for anyone to be driving around in out there.

I go to the phone to call Harm. Perhaps I can catch him before he leaves his apartment. I don't want him out in this weather when he doesn't have to be. We can have lunch another day.

1147

HARM'S POV

I'm standing outside her apartment door, looking at my watch. I've been here for nearly ten minutes. I don't want to show up too early because it may make me look too eager to see her. On the other hand, with the rain coming down so heavily this morning, I didn't want to risk being late and appear disinterested. I need to proceed with caution. I can't be too eager, yet I can't give her the impression that I've lost interest.

It's true that she called me her boyfriend, but that was before I opened my big mouth, so I'm not sure what the status of our relationship is at this point. I thought that I was acting in our best interest at the moment, but, on my drive back to my apartment, it occurred to me that she might have seen it differently.

In the first place, my thinking that our kissing was going to lead to anything else could've made her see me as being egotistical or presumptuous.

Next, she could have seen my leaving, not as a noble deed, but as me saying that I didn't think that she possessed the strength or the will power to say no and stop things if she felt that things were happening too fast.

I spent most of the night thinking about what happened and how she may have seen the events differently. I spent what was left of the night thinking about what I should or could say to her this afternoon to make my reasons clear to her and how, in general, to communicate better with her.

Hopefully, she won't be so angry with me that she won't let me in the door. Since I got two hours of sleep tops, if I don't get to sit down soon, I'm going to fall down, so I decide to knock, hoping that she'll invite me inside.

I pose my hand to rap on the door when my cell phone rings. I reach in the pocket of my windbreaker and pull out my phone. I'll take this call before I knock, I think as I pull my phone from my pocket.

I look at the caller ID. It's Mac. I smile first, and then frown when the thought that she might be calling to cancel occurs to me.

"Hey, Mac," I say with as much cheeriness as I can muster, given my fatigue, because I want to give her the benefit of the doubt.

"Good, you're all right," she says, sounding genuinely relieved.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be? You didn't have one of those visions of yours, did you?"

"No...it's just the weather is so awful and to know that you were out driving in it..." she says, sounding concerned for my well being.

"I'm fine. In fact, I'm here. I was just about to knock on your door when you called."

"You're here?" She sounds excited.

"Yes, right outside your front door."

I hear her footsteps and, a moment later, she opens the door.

"You look tired," she says as she flips her phone closed.

"So do you," I reply as I close my phone.

"You left me last night with a lot to think about...I didn't get any sleep," she says wearily as she opens the door fully, allowing me to enter her apartment.

I step inside, shoving my cell phone back in my pocket as I move. "I did a lot of thinking last night, too."

"I made us lunch so we could eat here. It's only pasta salad, but I didn't have much to work with...I need to do some shopping," she says, trying to sound chipper, but missing the mark.

"Sounds good," I reply with a sigh.

"Then, take off your jacket and we'll have lunch," she says, the enthusiasm in her voice a little more believable, but the voice doesn't match what I see in her eyes.

"Can it wait just a minute? I want to say something about last night."

"I'm not very hungry anyway, so go ahead. What's on your mind?"

"I just wanted to say that I didn't mean to imply...what I mean is that, last night...well, I was projecting what I was feeling onto you, assuming that you felt....well, let me just say that my leaving last night had nothing to do with you."

"Are you trying to apologize for kissing me? I sort of started that, so there's no need for you to apologize. Just forget it."

"I'm not sorry for kissing you," I say hurriedly. I don't know why I have so much trouble communicating with her. "Are you wishing we hadn't?"

"No."

"Then we're okay?" I ask hesitantly.

"As far as I know, yeah, we're fine. Are you ready for lunch?"

"Sure am," I reply gratefully.

"I've got a feeling that the weather is going to get worse before it gets better..." she begins as she heads to the kitchen. "...so do you want to watch a movie after lunch?"

What I really want to do is start talking, but we're both so tired that I don't know if it would be productive. Perhaps another time would be better for us to talk. "A movie sounds good. If the weather clears, I'll take you to dinner before I head home," I say to her back as she enters the kitchen.

AN HOUR LATER

MAC'S POV

I think that Harm is just about as tired as I am and, therefore, neither one of us could tell you a thing about the movie that we agreed to watch.

I do remember the weather alert interruption during the movie. The severe storms we're experiencing are the result of a hurricane that made land fall about fifty miles north of us. After telling us repeatedly that it was the first Atlantic storm to form into a hurricane in April, the meteorologist said that the conditions outside were going to continue to be severe through the evening and well into the night before the storm weakened. Airports were closed, and some highways and roads were closed due to falling trees or flooding, so it was recommended that everyone stay indoors.

I can't keep staring at the TV screen. I need to do something other than sit here. "Do you want some popcorn?" I ask, hoping that he'll say yes to give me a reason to get off this sofa and move around.

"No, I'm fine..." He must see the disappointment on my face at his answer because he adds, "...but don't let that stop you from making some for yourself."

"Would you like something to drink?" I ask hopefully.

"I'm not really into the movie either, Mac. We can change the channel or shut it off. It doesn't matter to me. I'm the guy with no TV, remember?"

How can the man know me well enough to know that I'm getting antsy sitting here, yet not know that I want him to take me in his arms and hold me? It's damned frustrating!

A bolt of lightening, so close that it lights up the darkened room, crackles and pops outside, stopping my thoughts. It's followed by a clap of thunder so strong that it shakes my apartment building, and then the room becomes quiet and much darker - the power has gone off.

"I wonder how long the power is going to be off," I say, trying to make conversation now that there's no TV for a distraction.

"In a storm like this, it'll probably be a while," he states with authority.

"Then I should get the flashlight and matches from the kitchen drawer. We can light some candles around the room before we lose what little illumination we're getting from the outside now." The skies are so dark outside that I hate to call it light, but it is keeping the room from being pitch black. I stand to go to the kitchen to retrieve the flashlight. "I'll be right back."

I know exactly where I keep the flashlight and matches, so it takes me all of two minutes to get from the sofa to the kitchen and back to the living room.

"I'll just light the pillar candle on the coffee table for now. We can light more candles as it gets darker in here."

I light the candle and sit back down on the couch where I was sitting before the lights went out.

"What should we do now?" he asks.

"I've got a few movies. I say we resume movie watching until the battery dies in my portable DVD player."

"Okay, a day at the movies will continue then."

I get up again and go to my bedroom to get the DVD player and the handful of movies that I own. I sit back down, placing the movies on the sofa between us and then lean forward to open up the DVD player.

"Do you want to pick a movie?" I ask.

"No, just start with the one on the top, and we'll work our way through the stack," he suggests.

"Okay," I respond with a shrug.

1610

HARM'S POV

Thank God I'd seen the first movie, so if she wants to talk about it at any point, she won't know that I spent most of the time watching her while it was playing.

With no power, she's let her guard down as if the darkness cloaks her secret, but, in her relaxed state, the candlelight sheds light on her features and gives her secret away. She isn't just tired. She's exhausted. Last night wasn't the first night that she hasn't slept, and her movement in trying to find a comfortable position every few minutes lets me know that her back is still bothering her. I wonder if the back pain is what's keeping her awake at night.

As the second movie begins, I see her yawn. A part of me thinks that I should leave so that she can get some sleep, but a larger part of me doesn't want to give up this time with her, so I turn my attention back to the small screen on the coffee table to watch the movie.

TWENTY MINUTES LATER

I've been doing pretty well with keeping my eyes on the movie and not on Mac, but a lull in the action on the screen has my eyes drifting to take another look at her.

Her head is on the arm of the couch, and I think she's asleep. She needs her rest, so I should go home, but I don't want to leave her in the slumped over position that she's in now.

I stand and kneel down to put her legs up on the couch.

After getting her stretched out on the couch, I think better of leaving her there with her back bothering her, so I get into a position that will allow me to scoop her up without hurting my back and lift her from the couch. I'll put her in her bed and then I'll leave.

With her in my arms, I move slowly and carefully to her bedroom so that I don't take a misstep in the dark.

Once in her bedroom, I lay her down on her bed and return to the living room.

In the living room, I shut off the DVD player and pick up the flashlight so that I can take it in and put it on her night table in case she needs it if she wakes up and the power is still off. I'll blow out the candle just before I walk out the door.

I turn to go to the bedroom with the flashlight and find Mac standing a few feet in front of me. The noises from the storm outside must have masked any sound that she made walking into the room.

"Where are you going?" she asks, sounding almost panic-stricken.

"I was going to head back to my place." She gives me a look that asks 'why?' "You were sleeping and you need the rest," I explain.

"You can't leave in this weather," she says with a hint of fear in her voice.

"I'll be okay. I made it here, didn't I?" I say with a cocky grin.

"Why take chances that you don't have to? You told me that Mattie's in Blacksburg with her father, so there's no reason why you have to go, right?"

"No, but -" I begin, but she cuts me off.

There's a hitch in her breathing as she says, "Don't go." Then, to my surprise, her arms come around my neck, and she holds on tightly. "I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you," she whispers. The whisper is heavy with emotion, and her breath warms my neck.

I wrap my arms around her, taking her into a comforting embrace. "I won't go as long as you try to get some sleep." I feel her nod against my shoulder in agreement.

I don't want to let her go until she feels better, so I stand with her in our embrace for another minute until her arms slip down, releasing her hold on me. Then I reluctantly allow my arms to fall away from her waist and back to my sides.

"Why don't you go lie down? I'll finish watching the movie...maybe sack out on the couch for a short nap. I'll leave when the storm eases."

"You won't leave without saying goodbye, will you?" she asks with the wide eyes of a child who's afraid of the raging storm outside.

"I'll let you know when I head out."

She looks like she wants to say something, but refrains, turns and walks towards her bedroom.

I wish I knew what was going on inside that pretty head of hers. If I did, I'd know better how to help her get through whatever it is that's bothering her.

NINETY MINUTES LATER

My eyes are closed, and I'm on the edge of sleep when odd noises reach my ears.

I'm still alert enough to know that I'm in Mac's apartment and that I was watching a movie. 'It must be something in the movie that I'm hearing,' I think as I ignore the sounds and try to make my way into sleep.

There are more of these strange sounds, and then, "No," a woman screams. The woman is Mac, and I go from being nearly asleep to fully awake and on my feet in a fraction of a second.

I take off for her bedroom and, when I get inside the door, I automatically reach for the light switch, but when I flick it to what should be the on position, nothing happens. I forgot that the power is off.

Thanks to the surgery that restored my night vision, when I look towards the bed in the dark, I can see that Mac is tossing and turning, not like she's trying to get comfortable, but more like she's in a struggle with someone or something.

"Mac," I call out, but get no answer.

I move closer to the bed. "Mac?" I still get no response.

I sit on the side of her bed and try a third time to wake her. "Mac!"

This time, my voice penetrates whatever she's been dreaming about and she starts to sit up. Her hair is a mess from the tossing, and the covers fall down to her waist as her torso becomes fully upright. It's then that I notice that she's changed into silk pajamas that I've seen her wear before.

"Harm, I'm glad that you're here," she says softly as she puts her arms around my neck for the second time tonight.

Unsure what she was dreaming about, though it's obvious that it wasn't a pleasant dream, I put my arms around her and hold her.

With the power off, there's a level of silence that doesn't usually exist, and I can hear her heart beating.

"Your heart is racing," I say, concerned.

"Nerves, I guess," she answers, holding on to me a little tighter.

"Tell me what you were dreaming about, Mac." I'm hoping that my plea will get her to open up to me.

I feel her take in a breath, but she doesn't exhale.

"Breathe for me. Take in a few deep breaths and then just tell me," I say, trying not to sound like I'm begging.

"I...can't," she says sadly.

"Then tell me what I can do to help." I don't care if I sound like I'm begging now.

She pulls back enough to look me in the eye. "Don't give me something else to worry about. Stay here tonight ... with me."

My first thought is how much I'd love to stay the night with her - share her bed. However, my next thought is that the time isn't right. I'm lost in thoughts of how to turn her down without her taking it as rejection when her voice makes its way into my ears.

"It wouldn't be the first time that we've slept in the same bed," she says, pleading her case.

I wonder if she was able to read my thoughts. With the clarification of what she meant, I feel more at ease.

"If it'll make you feel better, I'll stay." If she wants me here, I don't want to be anywhere else.

She releases her hold on me. "Then get comfortable and climb in bed," she says nonchalantly, as if me spending the night is like having Chloe here with her.

I toe off my shoes first and then remove my shirt. I decide that it's as comfortable as I should get tonight. The memory of the way our kisses made me feel last night also makes me think that it would be best for me to sleep on top of the covers and let her sleep under them.

We lay in the dark for several minutes before she speaks my name.

"Harm?"

"Yeah?"

"How did you deal with what happened in Paraguay?"

So she's still feeling the effects of Paraguay. "I blamed Webb...the admiral, just about everyone. I had to come to terms with the fact that my part in it was of my choosing and accept that I didn't handle the situation very well. It took me a while...but I'm okay now. Although, I can't say that I don't have any regrets because I would do some things differently if I had them to do over again."

"You blamed me and were angry. That's the reason why you didn't return my calls, wasn't it?" she says, convinced that that's the reason.

"No, when it came to you, it had more to do with the fact I'd been the jealous jerk that you'd accused me of being. It hurt to hear your voice when I listened to your messages because I knew that I'd screwed up, and I couldn't imagine how much it would hurt to talk to you, so I didn't call."

"I didn't lie to you. There was nothing between Webb and me in Paraguay."

"...It's just that the kiss was pretty intense. For everything that we've been through, you've never kissed me like that, so I got jealous."

"Everything that happened down there was intense, and just when I think that I've moved past it..." Her words trail off and she takes in a deep breath. "...the nightmares begin again."

"I'll listen if you want to talk about them," I say empathically.

"No, I don't want to talk about them ..." She pauses. "... at least not tonight."

We lie there for a few minutes in silence, and then she asks, "Since I didn't kiss you, why didn't you kiss me?"

"I was going to, but then Webb and Gunny showed up, and Webb made some crack about the room being where you two spent your honeymoon, and I got jealous again."

"When you've been snarky with me over the last year, was it because you were still jealous?"

"Yes, I've learned that I don't handle jealousy well. It changes me into a big ass," I say with a sigh and a grin on my face.

"A handsome one though." This time, I can hear a smile in her voice.

"Well, thank you...I think."

The room falls silent again for several minutes, and I lay there on my back, wondering if she's fallen asleep.

"I haven't been on my best behavior either," she admits with a great deal of sadness in her voice.

"We usually lean on each other. This time, we shut each other out, and that made it tough for both of us to deal with things and heal. You survived a lot of things at the hacienda before I got there. You're a strong woman to have returned with any of your sanity. It's natural that you wouldn't be able to address all the feelings that the experience invoked all at once, especially alone."

The room falls silent again. I don't know if my observation has wounded her Marine pride, if she's giving thought to my words or she's just trying to go to sleep. I want to ask, but the conversation has been flowing freely. I don't want to upset her. It might shut down our conversation. It might even lead to her shutting me out of her life completely, and that isn't a chance that I want to take now.

I don't have to wait long before she speaks again.

"Harm?"

"Yeah?"

"I want you to know that you're not the rebound guy. He was. You didn't return my calls." Her last sentence is laced with regret.

"I understand. He was there to make you smile or laugh, and he wasn't afraid to reach out and take your hand or tell you that he cared...all the things that I should've done. I regret not being there to do those things." I move my arm over to the center of the bed and take her hand in mine. "I know that it may be too late, but I'm here now."

Silence fills the air, and it's quiet for a while before I hear her sniffle. She's been silently letting her tears flow, and that's why she's been quiet.

A couple of moments later, she breaks the silence with no trace of tears in her words. "Admiral Chegwidden ordered me to see a therapist. I've been thinking that I should go back to see her for a few more sessions to work through a few things."

"It couldn't hurt to have an objective third party with whom you can talk things through," I say in support of her decision.

"Will you wait for me to catch up to you?"

"As long as it takes," I say with sincerity that I hope that she hears.

I feel her body start to move and soon I feel her hand on my arm. She's rolled over onto her side and is using her other arm to prop up her head and shoulders. "Even though it might not be a good idea for us to be boyfriend and girlfriend right now, we don't have to go backwards either, do we?"

I raise an eyebrow to question her statement.

"I mean, we can still go to dinner sometimes, talk once in a while about something other than work...that kind of thing, right?" she explains.

"Sure, I'd like that," I reply with the hint of a smile in my voice. I think we've made progress tonight.

"Me, too," she says before leaning forward and resting her head on my shoulder.

Without thought, I release her hand so that I can put my arm around her shoulders and, when I do, she relaxes against my side and puts the palm of her hand on my chest.

I place my hand over hers on my chest and I'm filled with contentment for what I have at this moment with her.

Between our talk and having her in my arms, I drift off into a peaceful sleep with a sense of hope that it isn't too late for us.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 3, PART B

THE NEXT MORNING, SUNDAY

HARM'S POV

I wake up because of a prickly, tingling feeling in my arm, the kind of feeling that's on the cusp of pain when you've cut off the circulation from lying on it.

With my body spooned behind a female form and my hand on her hip, I know before opening my eyes that the weight that I'm feeling on my arm isn't my own.

I'm reluctant to open my eyes to see with whom I'm sharing a bed. Then the morning fog of sleep starts to clear from my mind, and I remember the storm, the talk and Mac's invitation to share her bed.

I open my eyes and, even though all I see is the back of her head, I know that it's her. I'm in bed with Mac. Suddenly, the feeling of pins and needles being poked into my arm under her head isn't so uncomfortable after all.

I lie there, staring at her. She hasn't been sleeping well, so I don't want to wake her, but I'd like to get the feeling back in my arm...and a trip to the head is in order, as well.

I extract my arm from under her head, laying it above her head on the pillow and keeping my position behind her. There's no movement from Mac. I roll over onto my back, but keep my side against her back, maintaining as much contact between our bodies as possible through the covers that she's under, and, again, she seems content to lie there asleep.

It takes a couple of minutes, but when my arm has the returned to pain-free normality, I decide that it's time to get up. I sit up first and look back at Mac. She hasn't moved. I get to my feet and look down from my standing position next to the bed to make sure that I haven't awakened her....so far, so good.

After a trip to the head, I check on Mac once more. She's rolled over and pulled the pillow into her arms that I used last night. I smile at the sight of her "hugging" my pillow before heading to the kitchen.

KITCHEN

I'm looking in a cabinet when I hear: "You should've awakened me." Mac's sleepy voice comes from behind me.

I turn and shrug. "You needed your rest." I look back into the almost bare cabinet. "You weren't kidding about being low on supplies last night." I move a little so that she can see X inside the cabinet. "Since the power has been restored, I was looking for something to fix us for breakfast, but all the cupboards and the refrigerator look like this cabinet."

"There's some leftover pasta salad...and some leftover Chinese take out from a couple of nights ago," she offers with a sheepish grin.

"I'm not feeding you either of those for breakfast," I say as I close the cabinet door. "Go get dressed. I'll take you to breakfast and then I'll take you grocery shopping."

"You don't have to do that. I can shop by myself."

"I know you can, but, today, you can have my company."

"But Mattie's coming back today. You should go," she says like she's trying to get rid of me.

"She won't be back until this afternoon. We've got plenty of time for breakfast, shopping and, if you hurry up and get dressed, there may even be time for me to help you put things away before I have to head back to my place to meet Mattie."

I notice that the corners of her mouth take a slightly upward turn, but she doesn't let it get to a smile before she says, "I'll be ready in less than ten minutes." Then she turns to leave the kitchen. "You're buying me breakfast, right?" she asks over her shoulder as she exits.

"Yeah, I'm buying," I answer, hoping that she heard me in the next room.

She must have heard me because she responds, "Good, because I'm starving."

I smile at her comment, though she can't see it.

A few hours later, I'm headed to my place with a smile on my face.

When I was at the door ready to leave her apartment, she gave me a hug and said, "Thank you for the good night's sleep, breakfast and the company for grocery shopping this morning....thank you for being my friend."

I know that the memories and the pain that she's been carrying for the last year can't be dealt with in one night, but I'm hopeful that, after a good night's sleep, a big breakfast and showing her that I'm there for her if she needs me, it will give her the strength to take the next step.


	5. Chapter 5

OVERCOMING OBSTACLES, PART 4

AN: Trying to mesh a fic with the series is difficult because often the time frames don't make any sense, at least to me. My case in point is the Admiral's Dining Out, which was held on May 21st, the date was mentioned in Hail and Farewell, Part I. But in 4% Solution, two months prior to Christmas Eve would be late October, and with only two episodes between H & F I and Retrial (H & F II and Corporate Raiders), either Alicia being at Harm's apartment was in October, and he had indeed been "seeing her" or we've got a lot of months that we have no episodes to fill in the timeline, so know that, in my little world, Alicia was at Harm's due to the Wainwright case only, which puts her there in October and gives me a gap in time from May 21st to October to write in my little story. So, if the timeline of this story doesn't coincide with you're timeline, chalk it up to writer's privilege and try to enjoy the story anyway.

Both parts of Hail and Farewell and Corporate Raiders will be referenced in this part of the story. I'll refer to scenes that we actually saw, and you'll get some new scenes to make things turn out the way I want them to ... no disrespect intended to TPTB, but many a fanfic, and not just mine, have given us stories that kept them apart without being cruel. I hope that, by the time I finish weaving this little tale, you'll feel that some wrongs in what we saw turn out right. At least, that's my goal for this fic.

CHAPTER 4

HARM'S OFFICE

EIGHT WEEKS AFTER THE STORM

(ABOUT THE THIRD WEEK IN JUNE)

HARM'S POV

Acting JAG, Sturgis Turner, has just assigned Mac and me to a case involving former Navy Commander James Merrick, and I have mixed feelings about us being on a case together right now.

I had such high hopes after our talk at the end of April. I was hoping that, by now, we'd be a couple. It hasn't happened. In fact, most days I wonder if we're not farther apart than ever before.

I shake my head, trying to rid my head of the thought that we are, in fact, as far apart as we were on my first day back at JAG after my return from flying for the CIA and trying my hand at crop dusting.

I need to clear off my desk before I meet Mac to go interview Mr. Merrick. With my mind lost in thought, I'm on autopilot as I shove a few of the files off my desk into my briefcase.

I want to blame Mac for the distance between us. I mean, I think I was pretty clear that I was ready to move on _with_ her when we talked in April, but I can't blame her. We've both been dealt some blows since our talk that's made it tough to move into a relationship.

Unfortunately, without the time to even renew our friendship to the closeness that we'd once shared, the events of the last couple of months has had us retreating into our own personal safety zones. The problem with being inside yourself in a place of emotional safety is that you're pushing away someone who cares about you. Then one day you wake up wondering if the divide that you've created is too wide for you to build a bridge across.

I don't know who pushed first, and it doesn't really matter. It matters only that we're doing it again, and it bothers me that neither she nor I have put on the brakes to stop it.

In thinking about it now, it isn't so much what's happened in the last couple of months - it's more like what hasn't happened.

The preseason hurricane seems to have been the catalyst for the winds of change, because, just days later, Admiral Chegwidden gave Coates permission to spread the word that he was retiring with a Dining Out on May 21st.

The news of Admiral Chegwidden's retirement marked a milestone in my life. My mentor was moving on as if he deemed me, really, all of us, able to be on our own, out from under his watchful eye. It was also the fact that he'd been the one who'd introduced me to Mac that had me reflecting on the importance that he'd had in my life over the course of our years together here at HQ.

At the office, preparations for the admiral's Dining Out were being handled quietly behind the scenes. The office buzz was about who would be the next Judge Advocate General, while, personally, I got the news that Mattie wanted to go live with her father for the summer. The manner in which the news about her 'summer visit' was presented to me let me know the reality of what was being planned. The summer visit was to be a trial run and, if all went well, my time as her dad would be over at the end of the school year.

The same week that I got the news that Mattie was spending the summer with her father, Mac started receiving gifts from Webb.

That day is forever etched into my mind ...

FLASHBACK

I hadn't planned to follow her into her office as we made our way back into work after lunch. It just seemed to happen. Once inside her office, we caught sight of a brown paper-wrapped box sitting on her desk - a package, but from whom? She looked at me and, when I shook my head, denying that I had anything to do with its presence, she moved to her desk and opened the package to see if the contents would reveal the mystery sender.

Mac pulled a musical carousel from the box. After she wound it up and let it play a few notes, she moved to put it on her bookcase. She smiled at me, still believing that I'd had something to do with it. I smiled back, knowing that I hadn't sent it, but using it to hide the pang of jealousy that I felt, knowing that someone was trying to win her over before I got a chance to show her that we could make it work. Her smile and my jealousy quickly vanished when she had another sharp pain in her back while placing the gift on the shelf.

She moved back to sit at her desk while I scolded her for not going to the doctor to have her back pain checked out yet, and then I picked up the phone and started dialing. I was going to make her an appointment to see a doctor. I was her friend, if nothing else, and I wouldn't sit back and watch her be in pain without doing something about it.

Whether it was to see if there was a card inside or merely to discard the box, I don't know, but while I was on the phone, she lifted the box off her desk and the 'thanks for looking out for me' look that she'd had on her face when I'd started dialing the phone and telling her that I'd bring her the hot pad from my office after I got her an appointment, turned to a pale 'I've just seen a ghost' type of expression.

She was still staring at whatever it was in the box when I got off the phone.

"Mac, what is it?" I ask with concern.

She doesn't look up from the box as she speaks. "There's a note in the box."

From the look on her face, I expect the note to say something like, 'This could've been a bomb,' signed Sadik, but that couldn't be it. Mac had shot him ... she'd told me that she'd seen his dead body. It couldn't be that. So what in the hell does the note say ... and who sent it?

"Mac, what does it say?" I'd ask tentatively, because I'm not sure that I want to know the answer.

She doesn't say anything. She just picks up the box and hands it to me. I take the box and, as I bring it closer, I look over the flap and into the box. The note reads: 'I got your message. I'll be back tomorrow. Please have dinner with me so that I can plead my case and beg your forgiveness. Love, Clay.'

My jealousy is back, but I manage to stay in control of it, at least for the moment. "What are you going to do?"

"Have dinner with him," she says flatly.

"Why?" I ask. The one word question comes out in a whine.

"Because I need to look him in the eye and tell him that it's over. I owe him that. It's the first step to moving on to bigger and better things."

"Are you sure that you want to do that?" This time, I can't keep the jealousy out of my voice.

END OF HARM'S FLASHBACK

MAC'S OFFICE

SAME TME

MAC'S POV

I've been in my office, reviewing the last couple of months, starting with the preseason hurricane that forced Harm and me to stay at my place, and we talked. It may not have been a soul searching talk, but it was a starting point, or would've been if we'd kept the line of communication open that we'd begun that night.

I wonder where I was in my reminiscing. Oh, yes, the arrival of the carousel from Clay.

MAC'S FLASHBACK TO THE SAME DATE

I can't bring myself to say anything, so I just hand him the box so that he can read it for himself. I watch his eyes flick over the words as he reads the note: 'I got your message. I'll be back tomorrow. Please, have dinner with me so that I can plead my case and beg your forgiveness. Love, Clay.'

"What are you going to do?" he asks, trying to conceal his jealousy.

"Have dinner with him," I reply emotionless.

"Why?" he asks. The one word question comes out in a whine.

"Because I need to look him in the eye and tell him that it's over. I owe him that. It's the first step to moving on to bigger and better things."

"Are you sure that you want to do that?" This time, his jealousy is more obvious. I don't know if he's stopped trying to hide it or can't hide it.

I bristle at the question and his tone before thinking for a moment and letting out a sigh. He's jealous, worried that Clay will woo me with gifts and sweet talk, and he'll be left on the curb alone again. I'm glad that he made that jealousy confession that night during the storm. It's so much easier to deal with or overlook transgressions when you know why they surface.

"It's over between Clay and me, Harm. I'm sure. In fact, it's so over that I've had time to set my sights on a new guy. There's this sailor ... " I let my voice trial off, giving him time to let my words sink in while I offer him a warm smile, communicating my understanding and forgiveness for his tone and demeanor.

After he's really heard what I've said, he asks, "A sailor ... huh?" He has a hopeful smile on his face.

"Yes, a sailor," I say, offering a shy, flirtatious smile in return.

"Anyone I know?" he asks in a tone that indicates that he's indulging in the flirtation that I began.

"I think you may know him ... tall, handsome ...."

His smile becomes a full blown flyboy smile. "I've got to go now. I've got work to do, but I'd love to hear more about this guy who you've set your sights on ... he sounds like a great guy. How about telling me about him over dinner tonight?"

"Not tonight." His smile fades some before I can say, "My back -"

He cuts me off. "Of course, you should get some rest ... take it easy, not be out having dinner," he says with an understanding tone and a soft smile. "I'll see you tomorrow. Maybe we can have lunch together if you're feeling better."

"I'd like that," I reply as he gives me a wave goodbye and leaves my office.

END OF MAC'S FLASHBACK

My internal clock alerts me that Harm and I should've left five minutes ago and pulls me from the memory of the next morning when Harm witnessed the delivery of a German figurine by a group of singers. We both knew that it was from Clay. I didn't see Harm the rest of that day ... and we've yet to have that lunch.

Why didn't I go to his office and ask him to lunch? Why am I stalling in moving forward with him when, just weeks ago, I was sure that I wanted him, even if I wasn't ready at the moment?

That's when I hear that annoying little voice, the one you hear inside your head, the one that's annoying because it's usually right, and you find that out after you've chosen to ignore it.

This time it's saying, 'You know why you're putting off going to him. You've been avoiding him for weeks, since ... since the admiral's Dining Out, since you told him about what the doctor told you.'

I find myself having a debate inside my head with the voice. 'But how, with the other things that were happening in his life at the time - Mattie going back to live with her father being the most prominent one for him - could he hear that our baby deal was off because I couldn't deliver on my part, and be so damned calm and understanding about it, so comforting by saying that it didn't matter how, that it mattered only that we did it together and that there were other ways ... .so, so ... I don't know ... grown up about it?'

'Don't ask me. Ask him on your way to speak with Mr. Merrick. Somebody up there likes you. You've been assigned this case with him, so you can't avoid him any longer. Talk to him ... even if it turns out that all you can say to him right now is that you're still not ready, but that you'll let him now when you _are_ ready.'

"I have to stop avoiding him or I'm going to destroy our friendship, and that's a loss that I don't think that even therapy could help me cope with," I say into the air of my empty office as I stand.

I straighten my back and firmly grasp the handle of my briefcase. "I can do this," I say out loud before I leave my office for his.

HARM'S OFFICE

HARM'S POV

This will be the first time since the admiral's Dining Out that we've worked on a case together. It's also the first time since Clayton Webb stood her up for dinner, causing her to seek him out so that she could end things properly in a face-to-face meeting.

When Mac first appeared at my door, telling me that Webb was dead, my first thought had been that he'd faked his death before, so why not now? My second thought was that it might be some kind of mind game to suck her back into his world. I voiced the first thought, but not the second one to her.

Mac was upset by Webb's death, but I don't know whether she was mourning him because they'd been in a year-long relationship that, in her mind, she hadn't officially terminated or if she felt guilty for leaving a break-up message on his machine that may have caused him to be just enough distracted that he'd made a mistake that had gotten him killed.

If mourning a lost love or guilt over perhaps causing it hadn't been enough for her to deal with, she'd seen the doctor about her back pain, and the news hadn't been good. Of course, I didn't know that until the admiral's retirement party, and only after I'd opened my mouth about the anniversary of our baby deal. I'd prefaced my words with, "This might not be the best time to bring this up ... " but I didn't know what an inappropriate time it really had been until after I'd opened my big mouth, which had led her to tell me the news that she'd received from the doctor.

Though my timing couldn't have been worse, I think that I handled the news well. It wasn't like I was well-read on the subject, but I haven't been living under a rock all these years. So, I felt comfortable in stating some of the possibilities that could give us a baby, donor eggs and surrogacy among them. I also wanted to be sure that she knew that it didn't matter to me. I wanted to stop looking in on her life and be part of it. Babies would be just the icing on the cake ... what we could aspire to when we'd overcome the obstacles and had a clear path in front of us into happily ever after.

Maybe I should blame Webb and his "death" for reversing any progress that we'd made. It took a couple of weeks before Mac found out that he was alive and well. He'd been responsible for what she'd gone through in the weeks after his death, until it had been discovered that he was alive. However, his motives had been strictly business related and not to pull Mac back in, though I'm sure that, if it had worked out that way, he would've welcomed her back into his life with open arms.

I shove the last of my files into my briefcase, mumbling incoherently, "The timing was wrong. I didn't make myself clear that I want her, that I want a life with her. I have no one to blame but myself."

"Are you rehearsing an opening statement or a closing argument?" Mac asks sweetly from the doorway, then pauses a moment before trying to answer her own question, "Since I couldn't make out any of the words you were saying, I'd say from your stance and furrowed brow ... it was a closing argument ... but I didn't see your name on the trial schedule for the next two weeks, so you have at least that much time before you're due in court. That's plenty of time for you to come up with a brilliant closing."

"It isn't a current case." Since she couldn't make out any of the words, I offer that in explanation, hoping that she doesn't push the issue. With all that's happened, including the distance between us, Mattie returning to her father and Turner being named as acting JAG while we await the appointment of a new Judge Advocate General, I'm about fed up with keeping it all in. If she pushes me about what case I've got on my mind, I might just tell her flat out that I was reviewing the closing argument that I used at the Dining Out when I was trying to make a case for giving me - us - a chance.

"Beating yourself up over an old case ... that's not good. I guess it means that it's a good thing that we've got a new case for you to focus on ... you _are_ ready to leave now, aren't you?"

"Yeah, let's go." I must have subconsciously prepared to 'let her have it' if she'd asked about the case because, after I've given her a verbal response, I have to exhale a breath that I'd unknowingly been holding. Thankfully, she didn't ask about the "old case," because I would've regretted losing my temper with her.

Aside from her telling me that she wanted to drive as we were walking to the car at HQ, we haven't exchanged a single word in our twenty-five minute drive from HQ to the parking lot of Mr. Merrick's company, where we're to meet with him for our interview.

She pulls into a space, puts the car in park, shuts off the ignition and pulls out the key.

"Harm," she says as she leans back against the seat, staring into the center of the steering wheel. "I don't want it to be like this between us ... where we can't talk to each other." She finally looks at me.

The sadness in her brown eyes makes me want to wrap my arms around her, but even if we weren't both in uniform, since we haven't been able to talk to each other, I certainly don't think that physical contact is appropriate. "I don't want that either," I reply with a sigh.

"I'm going to therapy, but there's just so much stuff to deal with. I'd thought that I'd put some of it in the past, but I've found that I haven't ... .." She's getting emotional and stops talking.

"Do you think that therapy is helping?" As soon as the question leaves my mouth, I scold myself. It's a question that she could take the wrong way.

She smiles at me, indicating that she's taken my question as I intended it, as a concerned friend asking if she feels like she's getting the help that she needs. "I've been going for only a few weeks, but I think it's helping. However, I could be at it a while." She pauses, taking in a deep breath before continuing, "That's why I want to tell you that I don't want you waiting around for me to show up at your door to tell you that I'm ready. I want be able to talk to you, my best friend, but I can't do that if I'm worried that, at any minute, you'll ask me if I'm ready. Since Mattie's with her father, you need to get out ... start dating. It'll free me of the feeling that you're waiting for me and allow us to resume our friendship. I don't know when or if I'll ever be ready. You don't want to be a hundred years old and still waiting for me. You're a healthy, single and good-looking guy, Harm. You need to get out there and find someone who can give you what you need ... what you want now."

She might as well have stabbed me in the heart. Her words pierce through my heart just as painfully as if they'd been a knife. "Whatever you want." I don't wait for her to respond. I reach for the door handle. "Let's get in there and interview Merrick," I say before getting out of the car. Once my feet are on the ground, I have to take in several deep breaths to get my equilibrium back before I can walk.

SAME TIME

MAC'S POV

"Do you think therapy is helping?" he asks. I start to get defensive because my first thought is that he's asking to find out how much longer I'm going to be screwed up ... how much longer he's going to have to wait for me, but the softness in his eyes tells me that he's concerned about me, nothing more.

I smile at knowing that he still cares. "I've been going only a few weeks, but I think it's helping. However, I could be at it a while ... "This isn't the right place to do this, but the tension that's been between us, not feeling comfortable in talking to him has got to stop. I need to do this now. Though we're in uniform in a parking lot on a case, there's no time like the present. I take in a deep breath before I begin. "That's why I want to tell you that I don't want you waiting around for me to show up at your door to tell you that I'm ready. I want be able to talk to you, my best friend, but I can't do that if I'm worried that, at any minute, you'll ask me if I'm ready. Since Mattie's with her father, you need to get out ... start dating. It'll free me of the feeling that you're waiting for me and allow us to resume our friendship. I don't know when or if I'll ever be ready. You don't want to be a hundred years old and still waiting for me. You're a healthy, single and good-looking guy, Harm. You need to get out there and find someone who can give you what you need ... what you want now."

I see the concern that his eyes hold for a moment before it turns to pain. He speaks sharply. "Whatever you want." He reaches for the door handle, not giving me time to respond. "Let's get in there and interview Merrick," he says before getting out of the car."

I reach for the door handle while taking in a few deep breaths, trying to force down my emotions. I didn't want to hurt him. I was trying to set him free and get my best friend back in the process, but I think I made matters worse. I get out of the car, hoping that, once he's thought over what I've said, he'll see that I'm right, that it's better ... better for him ... better for me ... better for both of us this way.

After speaking with Merrick, we get back into the car. I'm not looking forward to the ride back to HQ. I'm dreading it, in fact. Not so much because of what he'll say, but because I don't know if he'll be speaking out of anger or hurt. He's entitled to feel either - hell, both of them - but if he speaks in anger, I'm fearful that he'll end our friendship and, knowing that I hurt him that much, I'll need to add a second session of therapy next week just to talk about that and how I lost him because of it.

I had nothing to fear. He didn't say a word about how he felt about what I'd said nor did he plead his case as to why he should wait for me. We didn't ride back in silence either. He stayed very professional, talking only about the case on the drive back to the office. When we arrived at the office, he looked at me as we neared the place where we'd have to part to go to our separate offices and said, "I'll put my thoughts concerning the case down on paper and come by your office in about thirty minutes so that we can present our findings to Turner before the end of the day. Is that okay with you?"

"Yes, sounds good. I'll make my notes and see you in thirty minutes."

He nodded and turned to head down the hall to his office. That's another thing that I feel guilty about. If he hadn't left JAG to come to Paraguay, he'd still be in one of the main offices around the bullpen. "He should have an office suited to a senior attorney, a fine officer and a good man," I mumble as I walk to my own office.

JAG HQ

SAME TIME

HARM'S POV

On the way back to the office, I wanted to tell her that she was making a noble gesture, but I'd be the judge of how long I wanted to wait for her. I wanted to tell her a lot of things, but most of it came from the hurt that I was feeling, and I knew that I'd send us back to a place in our relationship where I wouldn't return her messages, or worse, she wouldn't call anymore at all, so I did what I needed to do in order not to say anything hurtful or make her feel like she'd lost me as her friend. I focused on the case and discussed it with her all the way back to the office.

We get off the elevator and as we're approaching the place where we have to go in different directions to get to our offices, I ask. "I'll put my thoughts concerning the case down on paper and come by your office in about thirty minutes so that we can present our findings to Turner before the end of the day. Is that okay with you?"

"Yes, sounds good. I'll make my notes and see you in thirty minutes."

I nod to her in acknowledgement of the plan and turn to walk down the hall to my office.

Once I'm in my office, I decide that I need to keep doing what I'm doing, keep things all business until I've had time to think over what I want to say to her and examine it from every possible angle so that there can be no possible way that it can be interrupted in any other way than the way I mean it.

TWO DAYS LATER

HARM'S OFFICE

EARLY AFTERNOON

HARM'S POV

There is a rap on my door. "Enter."

The door opens to reveal Harriet Roberts standing there.

"Come in, Harriet," I say as I stand. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" I ask as I motion for her to have a seat.

"I'm not going to be here long, sir," she says in response to my invitation to sit down.

"Harriet, you're a civilian now. Even if I'm in uniform, you can call me Harm."

Harriet smiles. "Bud and I just came back from lunch, where I asked Bud if you'd said anything about coming to our barbeque. So, Harm, while I was here, I wanted to check with you to see if you were coming to our Fourth of July get-together."

"I've been busy and haven't given it much thought." I say with a bit of embarrassed that I'd let the invitation slip my mind because of the things that have been happening with Mattie and Mac.

"It isn't a big party, mostly people from JAG. I'll apologize in advance for anything that my father-in-law might say to you. Little AJ would love to see you."

"I thought that Bud was the lawyer in the family, Harriet." She looks confused. "You're pretty good at making a case, too," I explain.

Her smile becomes brighter. "Then you'll come?" she asks, sounding almost giddy.

A thought comes to me. Maybe getting Mac into an environment in which she's comfortable, she'll see that we don't have to be dating, but that, by just spending time together and doing social things like getting together with friends, we can move our relationship forward ... get the spark back.

"Has Mac sent her RSVP?" I ask curiously.

"She volunteered to bring pasta salad and a cherry pie, so she'd better be there," she says with a chuckle.

"I'll be there, Harriet. Do you want me to bring anything?"

"I've got all of that taken care of. You just need to bring yourself."

After getting a reminder of the date and time of the barbeque, I say a cheerful goodbye to Harriet.

I sit back down behind my desk. My somber mood has lifted. I'm feeling good feeling about this Fourth of July.

JAG CONFERENCE ROOM

THE NEXT MORNING

IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE STAFF MEETING

HARM'S POV

I accepted Harriet's invitation to the barbeque yesterday afternoon because it was an opportunity to see Mac without being on a date with her. Then I'd gone home with that idea in mind: seeing Mac without being on a date with her.

By the time I'd put my head on my pillow last night, I'd come up with a plan. There's no time table. She can have as much time as she needs to heal and to be sure that she's ready to move forward, but she doesn't have to go through life alone in the meantime.

I don't want to lie to Mac, but I do want her to think that I've surrendered to her will by leading her to believe that I'm going to do as she requested three days ago. So, the first part of the plan is to make her think that I can accept our relationship as just friends.

I hadn't expected an opening like this to arise this soon, but when Bud leaves the conference room, leaving Mac and me alone, I seize the opportunity to put my plan into action.

She's looking down at a file. "Mac," I say to get her attention. When she looks at me, I continue, "If you've got time today, can we go to lunch?" I get the questioning look that I knew that I'd get, so I forge ahead, carefully thinking about what I'm saying. "You know, I've thought over what you said the other day, and I understand what you said and why you said it."

"So, we're still friends ... no hard feelings?"

"Yes, we're still friends ... no hard feelings."

"Who's buying?" she asks, smiling.

"I asked you to lunch, so I'll buy this time ... but you can buy next time," I say, returning her smile.

"Deal," she says before standing up. She scoops up the papers that are on the conference table in front of her. "It's good to have you back, Harm," she says with the first smile that I've seen on her face in weeks that I can believe is genuine.

"It's good to be back," I say to her before she leaves the conference room.

SAME TIME

MAC'S POV

I'm looking down at a file when I hear him say my name.

"Mac."

When I look up at him, he continues to speak, "If you've got time today, can we go to lunch?"

Wondering if I hadn't made myself clear, I give him a questioning look.

"You know, a I've thought over what you said the other day, and I understand what you said and why you said it."

"So, we're still friends ... no hard feelings?" I ask tentatively, not quite believing that it could be this easy.

"Yes, we're still friends ... no hard feelings."

"Who's buying?" I ask with a smile.

"I asked you to lunch, so I'll buy this time ... but you can buy next time," he says, returning my smile.

"Deal," I say before standing up. I scoop up the papers that are on the conference table in front of me. "It's good to have you back, Harm." Because I feel lighter with knowing that I have my best friend back, my smile automatically grows a little wider .

"It's good to be back," he says to me before I leave the conference room.

A FEW MOMENTS LATER

HARM'S POV

I've been sitting here in the conference room, reviewing the conversation that I just now had with Mac.

I've replayed it several times in my mind. I didn't say that I was going to start dating or that I agreed with what she'd said, just that I understood the information and the reason that she'd said it.

I stand and scoop up my papers that are laying on the conference table. 'I think that does it for step one,' I say to myself as I move to the conference room doors.

The next step in my plan is to spend as much time with her as possible. Lunch between friends is a place to start, though we can't do it every day or she'll think that I'm pushing her. No matter what, with a lunch date - not date, appointment - with my lunch appointment with her today, I'm already working on step two. This is going to be a good day.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 5**

ROBERTS' HOME

FOUTH OF JULY BARBEQUE

SATURDAY, JULY 3, 2004

HARM'S POV

I knock on the door at 1300 on the nose. I've arrived on time, according to the invitation, but with two cars that I recognize already here, Mac's and Jennifer's, and a couple of cars that I know don't belong to the Roberts', I realize that I'm not the first to arrive, more like the fifth or sixth.

Bud opens the door. "Hello, Commander," he says cheerfully.

I start to tell him to call me Harm, but I decide that the effort would be useless. "Hello, Bud."

"Come on in, sir," he says, stepping aside to let me enter. "Harriet, the commander is here," he loudly proclaims over his shoulder.

Before I can take more than a couple of steps inside the house, Harriet appears. "Sir..." With a slight tilt of my head and a raised eyebrow, she changes gears. "...I mean Harm, you've been here before, so you should know where to find everything. Oh, be on the look out for little AJ. He's been talking about you coming for days because of a video game that he got from my parents for his birthday. It has to do with airplanes and -"

"He thinks that you're the only one who can help him because you fly real planes," Bud cuts in to the conversation, sounding a little disappointed that his son doesn't think that he can help him.

"I'm not much of a video game player," I reply, trying to make Bud feel better.

"A gamer, sir." I look at Bud. "That's what avid video game players call each other, sir, gamers," he explains with a smile that says that I may know how to fly, but he's the king of video playing.

"Then allow me to rephrase, I'm not a gamer, but it's my duty to help a fellow flyer out if I can, so I look forward to spending a few minutes at the stick with AJ."

"It's a controller, sir. It isn't called a stick for a video game, sir," Bud corrects, trying to make sure that I'm up on the proper terms before I meet with his little gamer.

"I'm sure he knows that, Bud," Harriet says, exasperated. A knock on the door has Bud moving back a few steps to answer the door, and Harriet speaks to me. "Why don't you head into the living room? Colonel MacKenzie and Jennifer are in there. If you'd like a snack or refreshment, either one of them will be able to direct you to it because they were both here early to help me set up."

"Hello, Talia." We hear Bud say after opening the door, and Harriet glances that way.

I pat Harriet on the arm as I speak. "Go ahead, Harriet. Greet your other guests. I'm on my way to the living room."

She nods, and I start to walk towards the living room, listening to Harriet greet Lieutenant Mayfield in the background.

I make it into the living room where Jennifer is seated, and she greets me. "Hello, Harm, I didn't know you were coming today. I thought you might be going out to see Mattie for the holiday."

"Tomorrow...I'm going out there tomorrow. I'm going to see Mattie, get in some flight time and be back at work on Monday morning."

"When you see Mattie, tell her that I said hi."

"Will do," I say before pausing to try to come up with something more to say, but the harsh reality is that, without Mattie staying with Jennifer, she and I have very little in common and not much to talk about. "I was on my way to the kitchen to get a drink of some kind. May I bring you something when I head back this way?" I ask, trying to find a polite way to disengage myself from her.

"No, I'm fine," Jennifer answers while lifting a glass off a coaster on the coffee table in front of her.

I nod to Jennifer and head off in the direction of the kitchen, hoping that my next encounter will be with Mac.

As I move towards the kitchen, I think about the progress that I've made in the ten days or so since I accepted Harriet's invitation. In fact, it was the next day that I asked Mac to lunch. This week, she asked me to lunch on Wednesday. So as not to press my luck, and because I hoped to be able to spend some time with her here today, I didn't ask her to lunch for a second time this week. I don't want to move too fast, and I got the feeling that she was a little suspicious of my quick acceptance of her "just friends" policy at our first lunch, which kept our conversation to strictly work related topics.

At our lunch this week, she asked about Mattie and mentioned that she'd be leaving the office an hour early the next day for her appointment with her therapist, Dr. McCool. I refrained from asking probing questions into the status of her therapy and asked, "Is there anything that you need for me to do? Talk to a witness, handle a motion or drive you to your appointment....anything at all that I can do to help, I'm there."

"Thanks, that's sweet of you, but I've got everything covered for now."

"If anything changes, let me know what I can do."

Her arm came across the table, her hand grasped my forearm and, as she gave it a squeeze, she said, "Thank you."

As she released her grip on my forearm, our eyes met, and we were locked in a gaze for a few seconds. In those few seconds, I knew that she'd felt the same spark at her touch that I'd felt.

In that moment, I knew that I needed to keep to the plan. The hard part is the patience that it takes to let her come to the same conclusion that I have - we're meant to be together.

I enter the kitchen and find that, not only is Mac in here, but we're alone.

She's at an angle to the window, and the sunlight is bathing her face in light, giving her skin a soft glow. As I take in how beautiful she looks in just a simple outfit of jeans and a top, I manage to get out one word. "Hey."

"Hey, yourself, though I'm a little surprised to see you here."

"Why are you surprised?"

"Well, when we had lunch a few days ago, you didn't mention that I'd see you here today."

I don't know why I didn't tell her that I'd see her today, so I offer the only explanation that I can think of at the moment. "I've been juggling a case as well as all those updates that Sturgis has stuck us with doing...I guess mentioning it just slipped my mind," I don't think that I sounded defensive, but her response makes me think that she detected at least a hint of it.

"It really doesn't matter. In fact, it's a pleasant surprise to see you here."

"Well, thank you. I think that's the nicest thing that anyone's said to me in a while," I say with a smile that I hope conveys that I truly feel that she's given me a compliment.

Little AJ is excitedly chattering away as he comes into the kitchen. "Uncle Harm, Uncle Harm, my momma said that you were here. I've been looking everywhere for you. I want to show you my video game. It has -"

"- Planes...I heard," I say, hoping to get him to take a breath, but looking at Mac in silent apology for the interruption.

He grabs my hand and makes his plea. "You have to fly the plane through the cloud that has the right answer in it. Will you come and play it with me? Show me how to fly the plane good, Uncle Harm. Will you? Please?" he says while tugging on my hand.

With a silent 'don't disappointment our godson look' from Mac, I look down at AJ. "I don't see why I can't give you a few pointers on flying before we eat. So, lead the way, pal. I'm all yours for awhile."

I look at Mac as AJ starts to move towards the door. "I'll talk to you later," I say to Mac before AJ has taken enough steps to pull on my arm, signaling that it's time for me to start moving, too.

As we leave the kitchen, we hear Mac say, "Good luck, you two...don't crash!"

LIVING ROOM

HARRIET ROBERT'S POV

With AJ's hand wrapped as best as his little hand can around Harm's, AJ seems to be towing Harm behind him as they cross the living room, headed to the den where AJ has his game system set up and ready to play. All he'd been waiting for was his Uncle Harm.

Allison Morrow, a thin, tall, blonde woman friend of mine, comes to stand next to me, causing me to look away from my son and his godfather.

Pointing to the other side of the living room, Allison asks, "Harriet, who is Mr. Gorgeous with AJ?" I notice the dreamy look in her eyes as she says it.

Though I already have a pretty good idea to whom she's referring, I glance in the direction in which she's pointing to make sure that Harm is still with AJ before answering, "That's Commander Rabb. He's AJ's godfather."

"So, he's in the Navy like Bud?" Allison asks breathlessly.

"Yes, they work together," I reply.

"So, a tall, handsome, naval officer who's a lawyer to boot, my, my...talk about a total package," Allison gushes.

"He's a pilot, too," I say, immediately sorry for making him sound even more amazing. 'Nice going, Harriet,' I scold myself.

"Harriet, you said that he's AJ's godfather. I suppose that his wife is AJ's godmother, then?" she asks, trying to politely conceal the real question: Is he single?

From her question, I can tell that Allison has set her sights on Harm.

"No, his godmother..." Seeing Mac coming into the room, I pause, waving for Mac to come over and join us. A few seconds later, Mac is standing with us. "This is AJ's godmother, Colonel Sarah MacKenzie. Ma'am, this is Allison Morrow."

"It's nice to meet you," Mac says, greeting her pleasantly. She isn't yet aware of why I'd introduced them.

I knew that, when Harm had accepted my invitation only after finding out that the colonel was going to be here, if Allison had her sights set on Harm, she might as well meet her competition right up front. Now it's time to leave the women to 'fight it out' so to speak. "I should mingle with our guests before I have to go into the kitchen for the final preparations. If you'll excuse me..." I pause. "Allison, if you have any questions about Harm, she's the one to ask. They've known each other for years."

MAC'S POV

At Harriet's statement, I turn my head back to face this woman with a new sense of curiosity. 'What kind of questions does she have about Harm?'

"Colonel, did Harriet say? So you're in the Navy, as well. Do you work with Bud, too?" Allison asks me.

"I'm a Marine," I state with a certain amount of indignation that she'd confuse the two, but it's probably wasted on a civilian, so I drop the tone when I continue. "Yes, we - Bud, Harm, myself - all work together. In fact, there are a lot of people here who are from the same office. So, if I may ask, how do you know Bud and Harriet?"

"I met Harriet at an open house at school. I have a daughter in AJ's class."

"Harriet said that you have questions about Harm. Are you in need of a good attorney?" I ask politely, thinking that maybe I can help her.

"No, I don't need an attorney," she says with a giggle.

A grown woman who giggles when talking about a man....oh, my god...she's interested in him. Realizing that she's seen something in Harm that she likes, I involuntarily start giving her the once over to see if she's any threat to me. I'm looking her in the eye, so she's my height...and her eyes are blue...

"I just saw him with AJ a few minutes ago. I was about to ask Harriet if he was married or seeing anyone, and if she'd said that he wasn't otherwise involved, I was going to ask her to do the honors of introducing me to my second husband."

'She's a confidant woman,' I think as I notice that she's blonde ... from a bottle. "He definitely isn't married. In fact, I think he knows the word only by definition," I say sarcastically. "And, to the best of my knowledge, he isn't seeing anyone at the moment." Harm enters the room almost on cue, and I call out to him. "Harm, can you come here for a minute?" I hear Allison take in a deep breath as Harm walks our way. Sheesh, you'd think that she was meeting the President or a movie star. He makes short work of the floor space between us and he's soon standing close enough for introductions. "Harm, this is a friend of Harriet's, Allison Morrow. Allison Morrow, this is Commander Harmon Rabb."

Allison extends her hand. "My friends call me Allie." Her smile is so big that her face looks like it belongs on a cartoon character.

Harm takes her hand. "My friends call me Harm, Allie. It's nice to meet you," he replies with a smile that makes even this Marine weak in the knees.

"The pleasure is all mine, Harm," she purrs.

How nauseating! I think I'm going to be sick to my stomach if I stand here any longer. "If you two will excuse me..." I lift my glass, though I don't think that either one of them is paying any attention to me. "...I need to go freshen up my drink."

I was right. They weren't paying any attention to me because neither one of them acknowledged my announced departure. I turn and hear her say: "I'm in real estate. I hear that you're a piloting lawyer," she continues in a flirty tone.

"It would probably be more accurate to say that I'm a lawyering pilot since I spend more time in the courtroom than in a cockpit these days" he says in a flirtatious tone of his own.

HARM'S POV

"If you two will excuse me..." Mac says, lifting her glass. "...I need to go freshen up my drink."

I look quickly to see her face. The expression on her face tells me that she isn't happy to see this woman and me flirting, even though she told me that I should start dating.

I hear Allison say: "I'm in real estate. I hear that you're a piloting lawyer," she continues in a flirty tone that pulls me from my thoughts of Mac.

Knowing that Mac isn't too far away to hear our conversation, I reply, returning Allison's flirtatious tone, "It would probably be more accurate to say that I'm a lawyering pilot since I spend more time in the courtroom than in a cockpit these days."

Allison giggles. "Good looking and with a sense of humor, too. If you can cook, I think I may have found my perfect man. I saw you with AJ earlier. Harriet told me that you're his godfather, and the colonel told me that you're not married. Do you have any children?"

I don't know how to explain my relationship with Mattie. I'm not her father, and I won't be her guardian much longer either, so I go with the easy answer. "No."

I glance in the direction where Mac had been headed and find that she's no longer in the room. I turn back to Allison. "Speaking of AJ, I left him flying solo to get something to drink and I told him that I'd be back in a minute. I need to get that drink and get back to him."

She slips her hand around my arm. "Why don't I go with you to get that drink, and that will give us a few more minutes to chat?"

"It sounds like you already know about me," I say as I take a step towards the kitchen so that I can get my drink and go back to playing the game with AJ.

"Then I guess I should tell you a little more about me. I have a daughter who goes to school with Harriet's little AJ," Allison explains.

SAME TIME

KITCHEN

MAC'S POV

I needed to get away from him...her, really, so I came into the kitchen under the pretense of topping off my drink, but my real reason was that I thought I'd find Harriet in here and I could pick her brain about the young woman who seems to have fallen for Harm after one look at him. Not that I can't believe that it's possible to fall for a guy who looks as good as he does in his jeans and tee shirt today. I've known him for years and I still find my heart skipping a beat at the sight of him.

What I can't believe is that a normally intelligent man could be taken in by one of her exaggerated smiles. Of course, why wouldn't he be interested in her? She's tall, slender, attractive and young. What's not for him to like?

'Pull yourself together, MacKenzie,' that internal voice says to me. 'It was your big idea to tell him not to wait for you anymore. You have no one to blame but yourself if they end up married with children.'

'Yeah, but that's the big rub, isn't it? She can give him a child, and that's something that I can't do for him,' I respond to the voice.

'But can she love him as much as you do?' the voice calmly responds and, for the first time, I think the voice is coming from my heart.

"No," I say, not realizing that I've said it out loud until I hear Harriet ask.

"No, what, ma'am?"

"I'm sorry, Harriet. What did you say?" I ask distractedly.

"Are you all right, ma'am?" Harriet asks, concerned.

"I'm fine. I was just thinking about... It doesn't matter. Is there anything that I can do to help you?"

"No, everything's under control at the moment." Harriet looks at me puzzled.

"What is it, Harriet?"

"Ma'am, I hope you don't mind me saying this, but I would've thought that you wouldn't have left Allison alone with Harm."

"Don't you mean Allie? That's what her friends call her," I say cattily. Then I decide that it wasn't nice. "I'm sorry," I say sincerely before taking on a serious tone. "Harm's a gentleman. I'm sure that your friend is in no danger."

"I wasn't worried about Allison. Harm's been through a lot. You both have, and I don't think that getting involved with someone like Allison... I know that she's my friend, but that doesn't mean that I'd leave her in a room alone with Bud."

"So you don't trust her?" I ask.

"She's nice enough. I call her a friend, but we aren't close. I don't know, ma'am. There's just something about her. I certainly don't think that she's the right woman for Harm."

"Maybe I should go check on them," I say before Harriet informs me that I won't have to leave the room.

"No, need, ma'am, they're coming to you," she says as she picks up a tray of cheese and crackers, and heads off in the direction of the living room.

I look in the direction where Harriet was looking and see that Allison has wrapped her arm around one of Harm's and is enjoying her position at his side. I'm getting that sick feeling back in my stomach.

"Hey, Harm, I see that the two of you are getting along quite nicely," I say, looking directly at Allison.

"Yes, we're getting along famously," Allison replies, looking positively radiant at her 'victory' of getting herself attached to Harm.

"I told AJ that I was going to get a drink. I really need to go back in there and check on him before he thinks that I've lied to him about coming back," Harm says while Allison and I exchange glaring looks.

I look at Harm. "Would you like a beer?"

"No, I think I'll stick to soda while I'm playing with AJ," Harm responds.

Allison holds out her wine glass. "I'd love some more wine."

I glance over at her. "The wine is over there on the table. Help yourself."

Allison looks crushed. I'm not sure if she's more upset that I wouldn't get it for her or that she has to leave Harm's side if she wants a refill.

I move to open the refrigerator and, pulling out a can of diet soda, I lift it into Harm's line of sight as Allison steps away from him to get her wine refill. "This kind okay?" I ask him.

"Yeah, that's fine," he replies while taking a step towards me, but I quickly close the refrigerator door and move to him. I wrap my arm around the one that Allison just vacated and push him towards the doorway as I shove the can of soda at him. He doesn't resist moving with me and takes the soda as we step out of the kitchen.

A moment later, we're in the hall between the kitchen and living room.

"That was mean, Mac."

"I needed to talk to you. Harriet doesn't trust her, and I wanted to warn you about her."

"Well, I appreciate that you're trying to look out for me, Mac, but I'm a big boy...I can manage my own love life."

"But she wanted Harriet to introduce her to her second husband...you don't want to get involved with a woman like her."

"I don't want to get involved with a woman like her? What does that mean? That an attractive, intelligent young woman isn't my type?" He pauses, and I see a flash of anger in his eyes. "I don't get you, Mac. You don't want me. You told me to get out and start dating, but the first woman who shows an interest in me, you're warning me to stay away from her. Well, I hate to tell you this, but, like you once told me, you don't get a say in my love life."

SAME TIME

HARM'S POV

"Yeah, that's fine," I reply, taking a step towards Mac to get my soda, but she quickly closes the refrigerator door and moves to me. She wraps her arm around the one just vacated by Allison and pushes me towards the doorway as she shoves the can of soda at me. I don't resist, and take the soda from her as we step out of the kitchen together.

A moment later, we're in the hall between the kitchen and living room.

"That was mean, Mac," I say, scolding her for pushing me out of the kitchen without either one of us saying a word to Allison.

"I needed to talk to you. Harriet doesn't trust her, and I wanted to warn you about her," she whispers furtively.

"Well, I appreciate that you're trying to look out for me Mac, but I'm a big boy...I can manage my own love life," I say with some amusement in my voice at the fact that she can't stop herself from covering my six.

"You don't want to get involved with a woman like her," she says emphatically.

"I don't want to get involved with a woman like her? What does that mean? An attractive, intelligent young woman isn't my type?" There was something in the tone of her last statement that's taken me a moment to translate. The change was that she no longer sounded concerned, but demanding, like she's ordering me not to see Allison. I feel a flash of anger inside, and my words come out in a biting tone. "I don't get you, Mac. You told me to get out and start dating, but the first woman who shows an interest in me, you're warning me to stay away from her. Well, I hate to tell you this, but, like you once told me, you don't get a say in my love life."

I pull away from her and head back to the den to play AJ's game with him.

By the time I reach the den, I feel guilty for having snapped at Mac. I should go apologize, but I can't just yet because, though I didn't mean to sound harsh, I'm not sorry for what I said. If she wants a say in my love life, she needs to be in it.

"Hey, AJ," I say as I enter the den. "I'm sorry that it took me so long, but I had to stop and talk to a few people along the way. I'm back now, so let's fly."

"Okay," he says excitedly.

I sigh with relief, knowing that my relationship with him is easy.

SOME TIME LATER

PARTY WINDING DOWN

MAC'S POV

I've said my goodbyes to the host and hostess and I'm out on the porch, preparing to descend the steps to leave when I see Harm's car.

I haven't seen him since our run-in earlier about Allison. He isn't even dating her, and she's causing problems between us. If he starts seeing her, my relationship with him is doomed.

That damned voice is back. 'You don't have a relationship with him. You have a friendship. You drew a line between the two. So he was right to set clear boundaries regarding your friendship. If you want him to wait for you...if you've changed your mind, well, that's something else now, isn't it?'

'That's the hell of it. What I want...him, and what he needs....a woman who can give him a child, are in direct contradiction to each other.'

I take in a deep breath and turn around, heading back into the house to find Harm. I need to apologize ... set things right between us without delay.

I open the door, and my shoulders immediately slump at the sight coming towards me. It's Harm and that woman, Allison, walking towards the front door. The observation that she isn't hanging on him this time doesn't keep the lump from forming in my throat at the burning question in my mind: Is he leaving with her?

"Hey, Mac, I've been looking for you," he says when he sees me.

I have to swallow hard to keep from sounding worried that he's going to announce his engagement to her. I know that it's an over-the-top reaction, but I'm in love with him, and nothing's going to help the heartbreak that I'm going to feel when he finds someone...whether it's her or someone else.

"I hadn't seen you in a while, so I thought you'd left, but, when I saw your car... I was just coming inside to look for you," I explain.

"It sounds like you two have something to talk about, so I'll be going. Remember that I'm free every other weekend when my ex has our daughter," Allison says, batting her eyes wildly before taking the first step down off the porch.

Harm and I stand on the porch, watching her descend the stairs in silence.

Once she reaches the bottom of the steps, she turns and waves goodbye to Harm.

"I'm sorry," Harm says as he briefly waves back to Allison before dropping his arm and turning to face me.

"No reason for you to apologize. You were right ... this time," I say with a smile. "I was out of line. If you want to date Allison or any one else, for that matter, it's your choice. As your friend, I just need to trust that you know what you're doing and be there for you if you need a friend."

"I appreciate you saying that, but I owe you an apology for snapping at you," he says sincerely.

"You screwed up. I screwed up. I guess that makes us even," I say with a silly smile.

He returns my playful smile. "Yeah, I guess it does."

My smile fades. "Harm..." My tone turns serious. "...it's going to be hard for me...you know, to see you with someone." I can't keep the sadness out of my voice. It's like I'm losing him in one way in order to have him in another.

"It's going to be hard for me to see you move on with someone, too." He pauses. "I want you to remember how you felt today. It might help you prepare for how I'll react when I see you on another man's arm." He's smiling. I think he's trying to lighten the mood.

I nod in understanding. Knowing that there's nothing more to say on the topic, I decide that it's time to leave before I grab him and kiss him senseless. "I've already said my goodbyes to Bud and Harriet, so I think I'll head out now."

"I need to go back in to say my goodbyes. I'm going out to Blacksburg tomorrow to see Mattie. I'll see you at the office on Monday?" He states the last sentence like a question.

"Tell Mattie that I said hi. What do you say that we have lunch on Monday, and you can tell me about your visit with Mattie?"

"Love to...see you Monday," he says, reaching for the door knob to go in and say his farewells to Bud and Harriet.

I take the first step down towards the parked cars, feeling good that he's going to see Mattie tomorrow and leaving me thankful that Allison didn't make it into his weekend plans.

When I get to my car, I look back at the porch, but he's gone inside. Then fear grips me. What if he's leaving to go meet Allison somewhere more private? My stomach starts to flutter, and I feel ill again.

Letting him go is going to be even harder than I'd thought.

I unlock my car and open the door, but getting in is one of the hardest things that I've ever done because I'm fighting the urge to either run inside after him or wait for him by his car and kiss him and tell him that I want him. However, I muster the courage to get in the car, close my car door and start the engine after reminding myself that letting him go is the right thing to do for him.

HARM'S POV

I raise my arm to be polite by returning Allison's wave goodbye. "I'm sorry -" I get out before Mac cuts me off. I drop my arm before turning slightly to face Mac more directly.

"No reason for you to apologize. You were right ... this time." She smiles in that way that she has, meaning that she doesn't believe that I'm right very often. "I was out of line. If you want to date Allison or any one else, for that matter, it's your choice. As your friend, I just need to trust that you know what you're doing and be there for you if you need a friend."

"I appreciate you saying that, but I owe you an apology for snapping at you."

"You screwed up. I screwed up. I guess that makes us even," she says with a quirky smile.

I return the fun smile. "Yeah, I guess it does."

Her smile fades. "Harm..." Her tone has turned serious. "...it's going to be hard for me...you know, to see you with some one." I hear the sadness in her voice.

"It's going to be hard for me to see you move on with someone, too." I pause before trying to lighten the mood. "I want you to remember how you felt today. It might help you prepare for how I'll react to the initial shock when I see you on another man's arm."

She nods in understanding. "I've already said my goodbyes. I think I'll go ahead and leave now."

"I need to go back in and say goodbye to Bud and Harriet. I'm going out to Blacksburg tomorrow to see Mattie. I'll see you at the office on Monday?"

"Tell Mattie that I said hi. What do you say that we have lunch on Monday, and you can tell me about your visit with Mattie?"

"Love to, see you Monday," I say, reaching back for the door knob to go in and say my goodbyes to Bud and Harriet as Mac begins to descend the steps.

I enter the house, feeling better about my standing with Mac after having apologized to her. Plus, the fact that she asked me to lunch on Monday is a small victory. Maybe I'll get to have lunch with her twice in the coming week, allowing my plan to spend time with her to move forward more quickly.

Since I'd hatched this plan for passively pursuing Mac, I'd been having doubts about it. However, Mac's reaction to Allison's attention to me tells me that I need to follow through with my plan. I still have some part of her heart. I just need to be patient and let her figure that out, too.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 6

MONDAY, JULY 5, 2004

A TABLE OUTSIDE JAG HQ

LUNCHTIME

MAC'S POV

I set my items down on the wrought iron table and turn to Harm. "Is this table, okay?"

"They all look the same, so this one is as good as any," he replies.

I take my seat and think about Harm's mood as I wait for him to get seated, too.

When I told him that I'd forgotten about a motion hearing that I had this morning when I'd asked him to lunch on Saturday, he seemed preoccupied and unhappy. He seems just as distracted now as he did earlier. I wonder if it's the change in our lunch plans or his visit with Mattie yesterday.

"I'm sorry you had to settle for a boxed salad of questionable origins from our cafeteria because I'd forgotten about that hearing this morning when I asked you to lunch. I hope you're not too disappointed."

"I'm not disappointed. I'm still getting to have lunch with you," he says with a plastered-on smile before adding, "And eating out here in the fresh air on a nice day makes the food from our cafeteria taste better."

"Since you're being such a good sport about it, I'll have to take you to lunch later in the week to make up for my scheduling mishap today."

"I'm going to hold you to that. I'm free for lunch all week, so just let me know when," he says while pointing his index finger at me across the table.

"I know that I had to change the location of our lunch, but that doesn't mean that the conversation has to change." He looks confused. "You were supposed to tell me about your visit to Blacksburg yesterday, remember?"

"While we were in the air, it was a great visit."

"But on the ground?" I ask, probing for more information.

"With Tom around, I just felt like I shouldn't be there."

"I can understand how you might feel that way, but I still think that you should see her."

"If she's with her father, Mac, shouldn't I stay out of the way?"

"Yes and no," I answer before taking a pause to prepare to give a more detailed response. He must think that my intention was to stop there, because he speaks.

"Thanks for clearing that up for me, Mac." His tone is between teasing and annoyed.

"I was going to explain. I _do_ think that you should give Mattie and Tom time to work on their father/daughter bond without interfering. However, I also think that she needs you in her life. She needs to know that, if her father falls off the wagon, she doesn't have to go it alone again, that she has you and that you're never more than a phone call away."

"And how do I manage to be there without interfering, Mac?"

"You've told me that the two of you communicate my email, but you can't hear distress in her voice that way ... so call her once a week. You could say that you just called to say hi, or you could use the pretext of calling because you wanted to check on your plane. While she's on the phone, her tone will tell you if she's really doing okay, but remember not to jump to conclusions. If she sounds down, it may not have anything to do with Tom. It could be boy trouble, or she's old enough that her monthly hormone changes could be at work." I pause and then add, "Maybe you should start taking more of an interest in your plane. You know, go out there once a month to give Sarah the once over -"

"- and check on Mattie at the same time. You're a very clever woman," he says with a small smile, the first real one that I've seen from him all day.

"Thank you," I say with a firm smile in place, thankful that I could be of help. Now, if I could figure out a way to ask him about Allison without seeming nosy or jealous, I'd believe that I'm clever, too.

SAME TIME

HARM'S POV

Mac is a few steps in front of me until she stops and sets her lunch down on one of the wrought iron table tops. She turns to look at me. "Is this table, okay?"

"They all look the same, so this one is as good as any," I reply, not really caring where we sit. Though I'm glad to be spending time with her, I'm kind of down after my visit to Blacksburg yesterday.

She sits down and waits for me to take my seat, too, before she says anything more.

"I'm sorry that you had to settle for a boxed salad of questionable origins from our cafeteria because I forgot about that hearing this morning when I asked you to lunch. I hope you're not too disappointed."

"I'm not disappointed. I'm still getting to have lunch with you." After forcing myself to smile, I add, "And eating out here in the fresh air on a nice day makes the food from our cafeteria taste better." Spending time with her in the mood I'm in certainly isn't going to move us forward. Maybe if I told her about what was bothering me ...

"Since you're being such a good sport about it, I'll have to take you to lunch later in the week to make up for my scheduling mishap today." I think she's trying to cheer me up.

Maybe I don't have to tell her what's on my mind after all, because she just suggested, of her own volition, that we go to lunch again later in the week. "I'm going to hold you to that. I'm free for lunch all week, so just let me know when," I say while pointing my index finger at her.

"I know that I had to change the location of our lunch, but that doesn't mean that the conversation has to change." I'm confused. "You were supposed to tell me about your visit to Blacksburg yesterday, remember?"

I'm reluctant to tell her about my visit, but I'm not sure why. I guess because I haven't thought through what she might think of me when I tell her about it. I decide that I did agree on Saturday to having lunch with her today to talk about Mattie, so I should tell her. "While we were in the air, it was a great visit."

"But on the ground?" she asks, probing for more information. She knows that I'm holding back something.

"With Tom around, I just felt like I shouldn't be there."

"I can understand how you might feel that way, but I still think that you should see her."

"If she's with her father, Mac, shouldn't I stay out of the way?"

"Yes and no."

What kind of answer is that?

"Thanks for clearing that up for me, Mac," I say in a tone that I hope is between teasing and annoyed.

"I was going to explain. I _do _think that you should give Mattie and Tom time to work on their father/daughter bond without interfering. However, I also think that she needs you in her life. She needs to know that, if her father falls off the wagon, she doesn't have to go it alone again, that she has you and that you're never more than a phone call away."

"And how do I manage to be there without interfering, Mac?"

"You've told me that the two of you communicate my email, but you can't hear distress in her voice that way ... so call her once a week. You could say that you just called to say hi, or you could use the pretext of calling because you wanted to check on your plane. While she's on the phone, her tone will tell you if she's really doing okay, but remember not to jump to conclusions. If she sounds down, it may not have anything to do with Tom. It could be boy trouble, or she's old enough that her monthly hormone changes could be at work." She pauses before adding, "Maybe you should start taking more of an interest in your plane. You know, go out there once a month to give Sarah the once over -"

"- and check on Mattie at the same time. You're a very clever woman," I say with a small smile, the first real one that I've been able to muster since I left Blacksburg yesterday.

"Thank you," she replies with a firm smile in place.

As I take a stab at a pile of lettuce with my fork, I wonder if I should tell her about my decision about Allison.

Unlike Mac and me, who are closed off about our personal lives to almost everyone, strangers in particular, Allison was very open. Perhaps too open for someone with whom she wasn't on a date, but I admired her forthrightness in telling me that she was divorced and had a five-year-old daughter so that there would be no surprises if we started dating. However, though it didn't have much impact on me on Saturday, her admission that she was only twenty-six hit me full force while I was visiting Mattie.

I don't think, prior to having Mattie in my life, I'd have thought twice about dating a woman her age. However, when the woman in your life is only ten years or so older than your daughter, it seems kind of weird. I set a new standard for my love life yesterday. I want Mac, but, forced to move on without her, my limit is a decade younger than me. I won't date someone who's less than thirty. So, even though Allison's attention at the party was good for my ego and, the bonus was, she got under Mac's skin, she and I won't be dating. It's for the best anyway because, she'd be either the rebound girl or an instrument to make Mac jealous, and neither would be the right way to treat a nice young woman.

I push a fork full of salad into my mouth. I'm not going to see Allison, but I don't think that Mac needs to know that, at least not yet. If I let her think that I'm moving on, maybe it will make it easier to get her to go out with me to rebuild our friendship and hope that it grows from there.

*****

Harm and Mac finished lunch that day and went out to lunch again on Thursday. For the next two weeks, they had lunch together twice a week.

Harm was finding that, though he knew that he needed to be patient, he was more of a man of action, making some days harder than others not to walk into her office and ask her to go to dinner with him ... to go to the movies with him ... .anything as long as they weren't in uniform and under the confines of the rules of good order and discipline that their uniforms required of them.

'Friends go to dinner together. They had before ... so why not now?' He told himself that he was being too careful. After spending a couple of days mulling over the idea of asking her out, he decided that it was worth a shot.

It was Friday, July 30th near quitting time when he headed for her office to ask her out to dinner that night. He knew that she might refuse his invitation, given the last minute nature of it, but he'd waited intentionally until now. She might decline his invitation for tonight, but he'd try to get her to agree to something over the weekend or next Friday. If she flat out refused, he'd just have to grab his briefcase and leave the office, giving him the weekend to recover from the rejection and form a new plan.

*****

FRIDAY, JULY 30, 2004

MAC'S OFFICE

MAC'S POV

I can't sit still, so I stand and start to move around my desk. I don't want to leave even five minutes early after having another round with Turner, the acting JAG, not more than ten minutes ago.

I don't know what it is about the Mills assault case, but he's been on my six from the moment he assigned it to me. Why did he give it to me if he doesn't think that I can handle the case?

I find myself pacing in front of my desk, trying to get through these last twenty minutes of the day so that I can get out of here ... so that I can breathe.

I turn to make another pass in front of my desk. After I get home, I should change and head to the gym. I could use a good workout to release some of this tension. A few minutes with a punching bag should make me feel better.

I can't blame my mood on Turner alone. My weekly session with Dr. McCool was yesterday, and though the sessions once seemed to be freeing, they now seem to be dragging me down. Dr. McCool said that feeling stressed or depressed is how some patients describe how they feel right before they make a major break through. She said that fear and worrisome feelings are often the mind's way of trying to block the core problem from surfacing, but if I want to heal, I need to continue - not give in to the feelings of wanting to quit.

I could use some encouragement from a friend, but Harm's the only one who knows that I'm seeing a therapist, well, Turner, too. As my acting CO, he's privy to that information for the purpose of verifying that I'm fit for duty.

Then a thought occurs to me. Why don't I ask Harm to go out and do something with me this evening?

'You sure that you want to risk finding out if he's got plans with Allie?' The damned voice in my head is back and more annoying than ever.

'I'm not asking him out on a date. Friends go out and do things together. He and I use to do things together all the time.'

'Yeah, when neither of you were in a relationship with someone else,' the voice quips.

'It's been only three weeks. He might be dating her, but he wouldn't be in a relationship with her this soon,' I say, unsure if I'm defending him or protecting my ego that he could enter into a relationship so quickly after I'd told him that we couldn't have one.

I look up to see Harm through my window. What did Dr. McCool say yesterday? "Don't give into fear - face it, heal yourself so you can move forward."

My eyes make contact with his. I see him nod in my direction, acknowledging that he sees me, but I'm not going to let him get away so easily, so I move quickly to open my door.

"Harm, I'm glad to see you," I say while waving him to come into my office.

"You are?" he asks, sounding very surprised.

He steps into my office, but I leave the door open. I don't want him to feel like he's trapped in here with me. "Yeah, I am. Do you have plans tonight?"

"Tonight, no, why?" he says.

The way he said tonight worries me. It could mean that he doesn't see Allison on Friday nights, but Saturday nights, or it could have nothing to do with her. Maybe he has plans to go see Mattie this weekend.

I opt to believe the latter for the moment to keep from losing my nerve. "I don't either. What do you say we go ... I don't know, to the batting cages? We haven't done that since we played softball for the JAG team, or maybe we could hit some defenseless pins with a heavy ball, or maybe we could go a few rounds at the gym, or ... " I say as I resume my pacing to try to hide my nerves as I wait for his response.

HARM'S POV

The bullpen is almost empty because of the time of day. As I approach Mac's office, I can see her pacing back and forth in front of her desk. She's appears to be agitated about something. I have the feeling that this isn't a good time to do this. Maybe I should wait and call her tomorrow. I can ask her to go to dinner tomorrow night.

I'm about to turn back and retreat to my office when she looks up, and we make eye contact through the window of her office door. I want to run the other way, and noting that I was so full of myself that I didn't bring a note pad or file, nothing that I could use as an explanation for my presence, I feel the beads of sweat as they pop out on my forehead. What do I do now that she's seen me? I hope that I can nod in her direction and head back to my office to regroup.

No such luck, she's opening her office door. "Harm, I'm glad to see you," she says, waving for me to come into her office.

"You are?" I don't mean for it to come out like I'm surprised, but it does come out that way.

I step into her office. "Yeah, I am. Do you have plans tonight?" she asks.

"Tonight, no, why?"

"I don't either. What do you say we go ... I don't know, to the batting cages? We haven't done that since we played softball for the JAG team, or maybe we could hit some defenseless pins with a heavy ball, or maybe we could go a few rounds at the gym, or ... " she says as she resumes her pacing.

"I'm sensing a theme here, Mac. What's got you so worked up that you need to do something that will release some pent up hostility and tension?"

She stops and looks at me. "The acting JAG second guessing the way I'm handling the Mills case is the one closest to the top at the moment, but he isn't the only reason I'm keyed up."

"So batting cages or bowling, which do you think would help the most?" I ask, happy that I'm not one of the reasons why she's so keyed up.

"Batting cages ... you remember where we all practiced when the admiral had us playing softball?"

"Yeah."

"Then let's go there."

"I'm about ready to head out, so even with stopping at my place to change clothes ... I should be able to be at your place by 1800 if you want me to pick you up." I offer her a big smile. "No reason to add to your tension by driving yourself through rush hour traffic."

She returns my smile and says, "Then I'll see you at 1800."

BATTING CAGES

MAC'S POV

The bat in my hands makes contact with the ball and, upon hearing the sound, I can feel the stress start to drain from my body.

"Was that Turner's head?" Harm jokes.

"A knee cap, I want to make him suffer before I wield the death blow," I joke back.

He laughs. "I'm sure glad that you're not mad at me."

THIRTY MINUTES LATER

I take a swing, and the crack of the bat doesn't effect me at all. The thrill is gone. The batting cage has served its purpose. My anger and frustration are gone.

I drop the bat to my side. "Harm, I'm ready to go home."

"Feel better?" he asks.

"Yes."

"Then let's go, but what do you say we stop and get something to eat before I take you home?"

"Do you know any place where you can get some of that rabbit food you like, and I can get a cheeseburger and an order of fries?"

He shakes his head. "I don't know how you do it, Mac." I give him a puzzled look. "You mess with your blood sugar and metabolism by skipping meals. If I did that, I wouldn't have the energy to exercise, and if I ate like you do, greasy, unhealthy and high calorie foods, I'd have to run at least twice as much as I do now to keep in shape. I don't know how you can eat like that and keep your fantastic figure."

"You really think that I have a fantastic figure?" I ask innocently, wanting to know if he's just being nice to me because of my earlier mood or if he really feels that way.

His eyes glaze over like a deer caught by a pair of headlights. His eyes dart around before settling at a spot on the ground. I'm not sure why he's reacting like that to my question.

"Yeah, I do," he says, not much above a whisper.

"Is that your expert opinion as a man?" I ask, trying to figure out why he seems to be embarrassed by the turn in our conversation.

"Yes," he says with certainty.

I'm still not sure why he seemed to be so uncomfortable about giving me a compliment, but I don't think that continuing to ask questions will make it any clearer, so I decide to let the subject fall by the wayside.

"Well, we'd better get to a restaurant, because I'm getting hungrier by the minute. I might have to have dessert now - a hot fudge sundae with extra hot fudge," I say with enthusiasm.

He's shaking his head again, in disbelief, I guess. "Yes, we'd better get moving. If you add anything else to your menu, I may get an upset stomach from watching you eat."

SAME TIME

HARM'S POV

Mac drops the bat to her side. "Harm, I'm ready to go home."

"Feel better?" I ask.

"Yes," she replies.

"Then let's go, but what do you say we stop and get something to eat before I take you home?"

"Do you know any place where you can get some of that rabbit food you like, and I can get a cheeseburger and an order of fries?" she asks.

I shake my head. "I don't know how you do it, Mac." She gives me a puzzled look. "You mess with your blood sugar and metabolism by skipping meals. If I did that, I wouldn't have the energy to exercise, and if I ate like you do, greasy, unhealthy and high calorie foods, I'd have to run at least twice as much as I do now to keep in shape. I don't know how you can eat like that and keep your fantastic figure." Maybe she won't notice that I just commented on her figure.

"You really think that I have a fantastic figure?" she asks.

My eyes glaze over, and I know how a deer caught in headlights must feel. Why did I say anything about her figure? My eyes dart around until I finally fix them to a spot on the ground.

"Yeah, I do," I say just above a whisper, nervous that this one slip could cost me any progress that I've made since the Roberts' Fourth of July party.

"Is that your expert opinion as a man?" she asks.

She apparently sees my observation as a compliment and doesn't seem to be upset by it, so I respond with certainty. "Yes."

"Well, we'd better get to a restaurant, because I'm getting hungrier by the minute. I might have to have dessert now - a hot fudge sundae with extra hot fudge," she says with enthusiasm.

I'd suggested that we eat when I picked her up at her apartment before we came here, but she'd said that she wasn't hungry - "couldn't eat a thing," she'd said. I shake my head in disbelief that she could go from not wanting a thing to the foods that she's listed in the last couple of minutes. "Yes, we'd better get moving. If you add anything else to your menu, I may get an upset stomach from watching you eat."

*****

In the week that followed, Harm wondered if he should ask her out, given the slip at the batting cages on Friday night, but with her birthday only a couple of weeks away, he wondered if he shouldn't try to get another evening out with her for practice before attempting to ask her out for her birthday.

They went out to lunch on Tuesday and Thursday. It was at Thursday's lunch that he asked her about seeing him outside of work again.

*****

THURSDAY, AUGUST 5, 2004

RESTAURANT

FALLS CHURCH, VA

HARM'S POV

We've ordered our lunch and, as we wait for it to arrive, I can't wait any more to find out if she'll go out with me again this weekend.

"Mac, there is this movie that Mattie's been talking about in her emails this week that she saw last weekend. She said that it's the funniest movie that she'd ever seen. I was wondering if you'd want to go with me to see it some time this weekend."

"I'd love to see a funny movie, but how is your girlfriend going to feel about you and me going to a movie together? A woman in a new relationship with you might see us going to a movie as a little too much like a date for her to be comfortable with it."

"I don't have a girlfriend," I say, confused.

"So, you and Allison aren't official yet?"

"Oh, Allison ... it didn't work out," I say, not wanting to admit that I didn't even call her.

"Then a movie on Saturday sounds good." She pauses. "You want to talk about it?" she asks, sounding concerned about my "break up."

"Really not much to tell. I couldn't get past the age difference. She's twenty-six. That number probably wouldn't have bothered me a year ago, but thinking that, if Tom screws up and I get Mattie back, having a girlfriend who isn't even twice my daughter's age just seemed too weird to me. If I'd been the guardian of a teenaged boy, maybe I'd feel differently, but I wasn't. I had a daughter. So, double standard or not, I've adopted the policy that any woman I date has to be at least twice as old as Mattie. Speaking of age, aren't you having a birthday soon? Have any plans?"

"Yes, my birthday is rapidly approaching, and no, I don't have any plans. Maybe I'll curl up with a good book."

"No, no, you don't get to sit at home alone on your birthday. If you don't have any plans, then we'll have to come up with something after the movie on Saturday."

She looks at me with a smile, but it's the softness in her brown eyes that threatens to derail me.

MAC'S POV

"Mac, there's this movie that Mattie's been talking about in her emails this week that she saw last weekend. She said that it's the funniest movie that she'd ever seen. I was wondering if you'd want to go with me to see it some time this weekend."

I'm flattered that he'd ask me to see a movie that had Mattie's approval, but what about Allison? It was time for me to find out if they were dating. I need to know.

"I'd love to see a funny movie, but how is your girlfriend going to feel about you and me going to a movie together? A woman in a new relationship with you might see us going to a movie as a little too much like a date for her to be comfortable with it."

"I don't have a girlfriend," he says, sounding confused.

"So, you and Allison aren't official yet?" I ask, trying not to sound happy that he isn't seriously involved with her.

"Oh, Allison ... it didn't work out," he says coyly.

"Then a movie on Saturday sounds good." I pause before asking, "You want to talk about it?" I'm concerned that he may be hurting from the break up.

"Really not much to tell. I couldn't get past the age difference. She's twenty-six. That number probably wouldn't have bothered me a year ago, but thinking that, if Tom screws up and I get Mattie back, having a girlfriend who isn't even twice my daughter's age just seemed too weird to me. If I'd been the guardian of a teenaged boy, maybe I'd feel differently, but I wasn't. I had a daughter. So, double standard or not, I've adopted the policy that any woman I date has to be at least twice as old as Mattie. Speaking of age, aren't you having a birthday soon. Have any plans?"

He's changing the subject, but I don't mind. Knowing that she's out of his life, I don't want to talk about her either.

"Yes, my birthday is rapidly approaching, and no, I don't have any plans. Maybe I'll curl up with a good book," I say with a grin.

"No, no, you can't sit at home alone on your birthday. If you don't have any plans, then we'll have to come up with something after the movie on Saturday."

I smile at him. He's being so sweet to me: coming with me last Friday to the batting cages, giving me something to do on a Saturday and making sure that I don't spend my birthday alone. He's a good friend.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 13, 2004

JAG OPS

MID MORNING

HARM'S POV

Mac wasn't at the staff meeting this morning. Turner didn't mention her being away on assignment, so I have no clue as to why she wasn't there or why I haven't seen her yet this morning.

Thursdays at 1600 is when she has her weekly appointment with her therapist. When I see her at the staff meeting on Friday morning, I can usually get a feel for how her session went from how she sits and whether or not she seems distracted during the meeting.

Last week after the movie, I took her for a hot fudge sundae with extra hot fudge because she hadn't gotten one the Friday before and asked her what she wanted to do for her birthday. She shrugged her shoulders. After asking her to tell me about favorite birthday party, she confessed that she'd never had a birthday party. So, tomorrow night, Sarah MacKenzie is going to have her first surprise birthday party. However, without seeing her this morning, I have no barometer for how the session went yesterday, and that makes me worry that she won't feel up to a birthday party, even if she's the guest of honor.

I'm headed back to my office from the law library with my legal pad of notes in hand when I see her coming off the elevator. I pick up my pace to catch up with her. Her demeanor should let me know if the party should be cancelled.

I make quick work of the distance between us until I get close enough that I know that she can hear me without feeling like I'm yelling, "Mac."

She stops and turns towards me. "Hey, Harm," she says with a big smile.

"I wanted to ask you what you had to tell Sturgis in order to get out of the staff meeting this morning. If it worked for you, I think I'll give it a try next week."

"I don't think it would work for you."

"If you don't want to tell me, Mac, just say so, but I'll bet, with a little tweaking, I could make the excuse work for me."

"My office," she says before turning and marching off towards her office, and, as ordered, I follow her.

Once inside her office, she moves behind her desk, placing her briefcase on it before looking up from behind it. "Close the hatch."

As I turn my back to close the door, I'm getting nervous about what she has to tell me. I try to rationalize my thoughts of doom. 'She was smiling, and I could see in her eyes that it wasn't faked, so her news can't be too bad, can it?' Having closed the door, I turn to face her and hear the news.

"I don't think that Sturgis would believe that you had an appointment with a gynecologist, no matter how much you tweaked it," she says, smiling.

"Is your back bothering you again? Are you okay, Mac?" I ask, while fear of the answer grips my gut like a vise.

"My back is fine. I had a follow up to the procedure. I have to have another one in a couple of months, and then it's back to just the usual once a year visit, unless I start having back pain again or something else that might indicate that I'm having a reoccurrence."

"Everything went okay then?"

"Yeah, I'm all healed up from the procedure. When I go back in October, she'll be doing some tests, and she said that she'll send my file to a fertility specialist for a consultation to get their expert opinion on the odds of me being able to become pregnant."

"That's great, Mac." Her face falls like I've said something wrong. "I mean that you haven't had any complications from the procedure, like an infection or something."

She gives me a shy smile. "It would be great if the specialist says that my odds are at least in the double digits."

"Yeah." That's all I dare say because I don't want her to hear the emotions that I'm feeling at the prospect that I might get everything I want. The thought of having her in my life and a child with her fills my mind and heart.

"Yeah," she says before she sits down in her chair while eyeing me.

She leans back in her chair and folds her arms across her body without taking her eyes off me. I wonder what she's thinking about. Is she sizing me up as the prospective father of her child? The thought of her and me, lit candles about my bedroom, the bed ... Her voice keeps the vision from getting more erotic, though I suddenly find that her office is very hot.

"So, are you going to tell me what you've got planned for my birthday tomorrow?"

"Dinner at some place nice, maybe some dancing, so wear shoes that you can dance in ... just a nice night out, nothing special."

"I'm in a good mood. You want to go to dinner tonight?" she asks.

"I can't tonight." Her smile disappears. "Mattie's coming in for the weekend. I'm having dinner with her. Tomorrow, she and Jennifer are going to the movies and the mall, and doing whatever else girls do. Then on Sunday, I'm driving her back to Blacksburg."

She unfolds her arms and leans forward. "Harm, we can go to dinner next weekend to celebrate my birthday. You should spend time with Mattie while she's here."

"Jennifer's like her big sister, and she's coming to town as much to have time with her as she is to see me. So, you and I are going to dinner tomorrow for your birthday ... _on_ your birthday."

She smiles a smile as bright as the sun. She's happy today.

"Then we need to get to work. I don't know about you, but I've got a lot to do today if I'm not going to take any work home with me, and I'm _not _working on my birthday. With Mattie visiting and my birthday dinner on tap for you this weekend, you won't have _time_ to get any work done this weekend."

"Then I'll leave you to do your work, and I'll go to my office to do mine." I turn, open the door and leave her office, headed for mine so that I can get my work done and enjoy my weekend with Mattie and Mac.

SAME TIME

MAC'S POV

Having reached my office, I enter and move behind my desk, setting my briefcase down on the desk before looking up at him. "Close the hatch."

He turns and does as instructed before turning back around to face me to hear the news.

"I don't think that Sturgis would believe that you had an appointment with a gynecologist, no matter how much you tweaked it," I say with an easy smile, teasing him. I expected him to turn a little red and change the subject, but he looks worried instead.

"Is your back bothering you again? Are you okay, Mac?"

I hadn't thought about him taking the comment that way, so I rush out words of reassurance. "My back is fine. I had a follow up to the procedure. I'll have to go again in another couple of months, and then it's back to just the usual once a year visit, unless I start having back pain or something else that might indicate that I'm having a reoccurrence."

"Everything went okay then?" he asks for a final verification.

"Yeah, I'm all healed up from the procedure. When I go back in October, she'll be doing some tests, and she said that she'll send my file to a fertility specialist for a consultation to get their expert opinion on the odds of me being able to become pregnant."

"That's great, Mac." My smile falls away because I hadn't thought of what that news might mean to him. Is he considering the possibility of being the father if I _can_ have a baby? "I mean that you haven't had any complications from the procedure, like an infection or something," he elaborates. The change in my facial expression must have made him think that he'd upset me.

I give him a shy smile to relieve him of any worry about my mood. "It would be great if the specialist says that my odds are at least in the double digits," I say, wondering if he'd had the same thought.

"Yeah." That's all he says to me, leaving me unsure if the thought of it not being too late for us to go halves on a baby crossed his mind or not.

"Yeah," I say before I sit down in my chair while eyeing him.

I lean back in my chair and fold my arms across my body without taking my eyes off him. The thought that, if I _can_ have a baby, he's the one who I want to be the father enters my thoughts. I don't have any information that it's possible, so I need to change the subject before I let my thoughts go any farther down that road.

"So, are you going to tell me what you've got planned for my birthday tomorrow?" I ask.

"Dinner at some place nice, maybe some dancing, so wear shoes that you can dance in ... just a nice night out, nothing special."

"I'm in a good mood. You want to go to dinner tonight?"

"I can't tonight." My smile disappears ... he has a date. "Mattie's coming in for the weekend. I'm having dinner with her. Tomorrow, she and Jennifer are going to the movies and the mall, and doing whatever else girls do. Then on Sunday, I'm driving her back to Blacksburg," he informs me.

I feel a little better knowing that his "date" tonight is with Mattie, but I'm also a little sad because I just found out that my birthday is going to cost him part of his weekend with her. I unfold my arms and lean forward. "Harm, we can go to dinner next weekend to celebrate my birthday. You should spend time with Mattie while she's here."

"Jennifer's like her big sister, and she's coming to town as much to have time with her as she is to see me. So, you and I are going to dinner tomorrow for your birthday ... _on_ your birthday."

I really like this sweet side of him and I can't suppress the bright smile that appears on my face. I'm happy today.

"Then we need to get to work. I don't know about you, but I've got a lot to do today if I'm not going to take any work home with me, and I'm _not_ working on my birthday. With Mattie visiting and my birthday dinner on tap for you this weekend, you won't have _time_ to get any work done this weekend."

"Then I'll leave you to do your work, and I'll go to my office to do mine." He turns, opens the door and leaves my office.

For a moment, I think about the possibility of him and me - of us - being together. I have to shake the thought out of my head and get to work. I've set him free ... told him not to wait for me to be ready.

If I want to take it back, I have to know for sure that I'm ready to move forward with him before I talk to him ... and I have to hope that he hasn't moved on by then and that he's still interested in me.


	8. Chapter 8

AN: Even though the change in custody of Mattie doesn't happen until One Big Boat, it gets moved up in this storyline version.

AN #2: The episode Retrial is referenced in this part, including that pesky little scene that we didn't see until 4% Solution.

OVERCOMING OBSTACLES, PART 7

MAC'S APARTMENT

SATURDAY, AUGUST 14, 2004

MAC'S BIRTHDAY

1830

MAC'S POV

Unlike several months ago when we were going out on a date, I had no problem deciding what I wanted to wear this evening.

The minute he'd said that he was going to take me to dinner and dancing, I knew that the cherry red dress that I'd splurged on as a birthday present to myself several years ago and was still in the closet with the tags hanging from the sleeve was what I wanted to wear tonight.

I'm pleased with my choice as I stand in front of the mirror, checking my hair and how my shoes look with my dress.

I hear a knock on the door. 'I look the part of the birthday girl,' I think to myself as I make my way to the door.

I open the door, and there stands Harm. He's dressed in a dark brown three-piece suit, cream-colored shirt and a dark colored tie with red stripes. I think back to our date months ago. His tie coordinated with my dress then, too. I wonder how he does that. I didn't tell him what I was wearing either time. In fact, the last time, I didn't know what I was going to wear until he knocked on the door.

He looks handsome in his uniform, but I'd have to say that he looks even better out of it ... I mean in a suit. I feel a slight blush in my cheeks as I have a momentary thought about what he'd look like in his birthday suit.

"Hey," I manage to get out before he thinks that I've lost my manners, but I'm unable to keep it from coming out without a hitch in my voice.

"You look ... fantastic," he says to me.

"Thank you, so do you." The thought of him being naked in front of me is finally leaving my head and allowing me to be more coherent. "I'm sorry. Come in."

"I made our reservation for 1900, so, if you're ready, we should go ahead and leave for the restaurant."

"I'm ready ... wait ... I have to get my clutch. I left it on the bed. I'll be right back."

HARM'S POV

I run my hand over my tie and vest, smoothing out any lines before knocking on her door. I'm wearing a tie that Mattie bought me today when she was out shopping with Jennifer this afternoon. It has red stripes, and she said that red was a lucky color. I don't know about that, but she picked it out, so I wore it, lucky or not.

I knock on the door and, a few moments later, she opens the door, and my eyes take in the sight of her.

Being in love with her the way I am, the first thing I notice is the happiness in her eyes. The clouds of pain and uncertainty are gone, and my wish for her on this special day is that it stays gone. The next thing I notice is that her hair is longer than it was the last time I saw it down a few months ago. The man in love gives way to being a man as my eyes scan down her body. The v-necked top of the dress in a glossy fabric gives me a hint of cleavage, and the thought of her breasts make it impossible for me to breathe until I force my eyes to move on to the sheer sleeves, which are trimmed in material at her wrists, and the floating skirt that will move with her as we dance. I even notice her silver heels before she greets me.

"Hey," she says with a hitch in her voice, making me wonder if my gaze has made her feel uncomfortable.

"You look ... fantastic," I say. 'If she was feeling uncomfortable, you didn't help with that comment,' I scold myself.

"Thank you. So do you." She pauses. "I'm sorry. Come in."

"I made our reservation for 1900, so, if you're ready, we should go ahead and leave for the restaurant."

"I'm ready ... wait ... I have to get my clutch. I left it on the bed. I'll be right back."

She turns and walks away from the door to get her bag. It isn't until she's out of sight that I can breathe normally again. If I wasn't already in love with her, she would've stolen my heart tonight.

RENDEZVOUS RESTAURANT

HARM'S POV

Mac is by my side as I step up to the podium. "Reservation for Rabb," I say, hoping that his reply doesn't spoil her surprise.

"Yes, Mr. Rabb. Please wait a moment while I check to make sure that your table is ready," he says before snapping his fingers. A young man appears. "The Rabb party is here," he instructs the waiter.

"I'll be just a moment." he says before disappearing towards the back of the restaurant.

The fact that the young man has gone to alert everyone, tells me that the guests have all arrived. It was the code that Mrs. Manchester suggested. If no one had arrived, we'd be seated, and she'd have the others shown in when they'd all arrived. If some guests were here, but not all, we'd have been told that our table wasn't ready and shown a temporary place to sit until the remaining guests arrived. If everyone was here, we'd be taken straight to the private dining room that I'd reserved after the guests had been alerted that the guest of honor had arrived.

I catch myself looking at Mac while we're waiting for the young man to return. The soft light coming from wall sconces next to the front doors is casting a warm glow on her skin. It takes only a moment for my eyes to roam to the dip in her dress where I can see the hint of cleavage. The glistening skin there has me wondering if she's wearing body glitter, something that I probably wouldn't even know existed if not for my relationship with Renee.

"Why do I get the feeling that you're up to something?" Mac asks.

My first reaction is that she's caught me staring at her, but when I look up at answer her, I realize that she isn't looking at me. She's looking towards the back of the restaurant.

"Your suspicious nature, maybe," I state with a half smile, though she still hasn't looked at me. I don't know what she's expecting, but I hope that she isn't disappointed.

"Maybe," she says distractedly before she spots the young man returning.

"If you're ready, sir?" the young man asks as he approaches.

"We are," I say as I put my hand at the small of Mac's back.

He then leads us to the private dining room and opens both doors, surprising Mac with what's inside. I have to apply a little pressure to the small of Mac's back to get her to take a step forward.

She steps through the doorway and whispers, "I don't know whether I should kiss you or kill you for this."

"Do I get a say in which one?" I reply in a whisper before her guests begin to greet her.

"Ma'am, happy birthday," Bud says first, followed by the same sentiment from Harriet.

Mattie and Jennifer Coates follow with their birthday greetings.

"I don't know what to say. I had no idea that Harm had arranged this. Thank you all for coming to my birthday party," Mac says to her friends before taking a seat in the chair that I've pulled out for her.

PRIVATE PARTY ROOM

DURING DINNER

The evening was going wonderfully. Mrs. Masterson had done everything that Harm had asked and more.

She'd had the private party room decorated with red and white streamers. The table for six had a flower arrangement of red and white roses as the centerpiece. Red candles were lit on either side of it, and a crisp, white tablecloth with red cloth napkins adorned the table. The room was decorated for a party, but it was done very appropriately.

Harm had prearranged the menu. He'd ordered mushroom caps for an appetizer and Kobe beef for the main course for everyone except himself. He was having swordfish.

With the main course about to be served, Mattie saw an opportunity to see if the electricity that was created every time Harm and Mac stole even casual glances at each other was only because of the special occasion or if her guardian was dating Mac again. She hoped that it was the latter. She was feeling guilty about leaving Harm alone over the summer and, with school starting up in a couple of weeks, the plan was for them to ask Harm to give up his guardianship completely when Harm drove her back to Blacksburg tomorrow. She knew that Harm loved Mac, but she didn't know how Mac felt about Harm. However, something told her that the way Mac was looking at him tonight, she did, and she'd feel much better knowing that she wasn't leaving Harm alone.

"Mac, will you come with us when Harm takes me back to Blacksburg tomorrow?" Mattie asked.

"Mac isn't into flying like we are. I don't think that she'd find it much fun to hang out at the airfield," Harm offered, giving Mac a reason to deny Mattie's request.

There was something in Mattie's eyes that spoke to Mac. Mac didn't know if she wanted to talk to her about her father or Harm, or something else, but she felt that she had something on her mind.

"I don't know, Harm. Maybe Mattie can give me a different perspective, you know, flying from a woman's point of view." Mac turned her head to look him in the eye. "I might come back with a whole new appreciation for flying, airplanes ... and maybe even aviators." The last part about aviators came out in a purr.

She was flirting with him in front of everyone. He was suddenly having second thoughts about giving her a birthday party. Perhaps a quiet dinner for two would have been better after all.

Harm had to swallow hard before he could ask, "Do you want to come over so we can leave from my place or should we pick you up?"

"It'll save you some time if I come to your place and we leave from there, right?"

"Yes."

"Then I'll come to you."

Oh, how he wished that she'd come to him, come to him and tell him that she was ready to talk about being together at last. It was Harriet who announced that it was time to give Mac her birthday gifts, which pulled him out of his daydream of that event actually taking place.

The gift from Bud and Harriet was a gift certificate for a facial, manicure and pedicure at the spa that Harriet loved. Bud had given a similar gift to Harriet for her birthday.

Jennifer handed Mac the next gift and said that it was from her and Mattie. They'd picked it out while shopping today. It was a beautiful, dark blue, silk blouse.

Harm presented his gift last. Prompted by the hope that this year he'd be able to give her something more intimate for Christmas and because perfume would be an acceptable gift for him to give her in front of others, his gift was the perfume that he usually gave her at Christmas, Fixation.

He'd arranged for individual chocolate decadence cakes for everyone for dessert, the one for the birthday girl having a single lit candle in the middle of it, of course.

Everyone sang "Happy Birthday" to Mac before she closed her eyes tightly, conjuring up a wish in her mind.

She waffled for a few seconds, trying to decide between wishing that she and Harm would finally be together and wishing that she could have a child before finally deciding that she couldn't choose between them.

'I hope that I can fulfill my dream of having a child with the man I love, Harm,' she wished silently before blowing out the candle on her cake.

With the cake served and eaten, and presents given and opened, it was Bud and Harriet who first said that they hated to leave, but they needed to get back to tuck the children into bed.

Harm stood and offered Mac his hand to help her stand, which she took and stood to hug and thank Bud and Harriet for coming. Then she thanked and hugged Jennifer and Mattie, telling Mattie that she'd see her tomorrow.

Once everyone had exited the room, Harm looked at Mac. "I believe I promised to take the birthday girl out dancing this evening."

"I believe you did," she acknowledged.

Harm offered his bent arm. "Then shall we go and dance the night away?"

Mac smiled and put her arm around his, and they left the dining room, heading off to their last destination for the evening.

And danced they did for a couple of hours, taking only a few brief breaks to get something to wet their parched mouths.

As Harm twirled her around during one song and dipped her as they danced to another, no one who watched them for even a fraction of a second saw two friends dancing together. They saw two people in love with each other, dancing in perfect rhythm.

Harm and Mac rode in silence from the ballroom to her apartment.

MAC'S APARTMENT

2349

MAC'S POV

The evening has been perfect, and my only regret is that it's coming to an end. So, as I unlock my door, my thought is to try to extend it, even if only for a few minutes. "Do you want to come in for a cup of coffee or tea?"

"I should go, you know, make sure that Mattie isn't waiting up for me," he answers softly.

"You didn't need to walk me to my door," I say as I push my door open.

"I know, you're a Marine -"

"Tonight, I don't feel much like one. I feel more like Cinderella," I say, cutting him off.

"Then I'm glad I got you home before midnight," he responds with a chuckle.

I smile. "I had a wonderful time tonight. Thank you for the birthday party, taking me dancing ... just for making this the best birthday that I've ever had," I say to him.

I've made him blush. "You're welcome," he says softly before changing into an apologetic tone. "I forgot to bring up your presents from the car."

"It's all right. I'll pick them up when I see you tomorrow. Well, unless you don't want me to go." I suddenly begin to realize that he may not want me to come with him. "I'm sorry. I should've realized that you were gracefully offering me a way out so that I'd know that you didn't want me to say yes."

"It wasn't that I didn't want you to go ... I just didn't know if you'd be comfortable being out there with Tom, Mattie and me, and I wanted you to know that I'd understand if you didn't want to come with us."

"Why wouldn't I be comfortable out there with you ... oh, afraid that Tom will want to swap beverage recipes?"

"No. It's just that he's new to sobriety, so I don't want him bugging you with any questions about how you've gotten by or ... "

I put two fingers over his lips to hush his words. "That's very thoughtful, but, as someone who's given up the habit, fallen off the wagon and gotten back on, it's my duty to help him get to where I am if I can."

"Then, I'll see you tomorrow. It's close to midnight, Cinderella. You'd better get inside."

"I've got nine minutes and forty seconds left." I pause before speaking again and, when I do, I say hesitantly, "Would you do me a favor?"

"If I can, sure."

"To make this evening perfect, Prince Charming would kiss Cinderella goodnight." I get out my request and then hold my breath, waiting for his response.

He's silent too long. I've asked too much. "Forget I asked," I say, disappointed, but with no feelings of anger.

I turn to enter my apartment and, suddenly, his hand is gingerly grasping my elbow, causing me to turn back to face him. I see his face coming towards mine. My eyes close, and I lick my lips as I anticipate the moment that his lips will make contact with mine. It seems like an eternity, but, finally, he's kissing me.

The moment our lips make contact, I want to pull him closer, take the kiss to the next level ... pull him inside my apartment and let the warmth of his kiss melt away my fears, let his love wash over me and wash away my doubts that we could make it work between us.

"It's two minutes until midnight," I say when he pulls his lips from mine.

"Good night ... .Cinderella," he says.

"Good night, Prince Charming," I say before turning to enter my apartment.

When I close the door behind me, I feel as if I've closed the door on my very own Prince Charming and that I'll never know love in the happily-ever-after way that Cinderella did in the fairy tale. Tears form in my eyes, and I run to my room and bury my head in my pillow to cry it out.

HARM'S POV

I'm already wishing that there were more hours in the day, because I don't want this one to end.

"You want to come in for a cup of coffee or tea?" she asks as she unlocks her door.

"I should go, you know, make sure that Mattie isn't waiting up for me," I answer softly.

"You didn't need to walk me to my door," she says as she pushes her door open.

"I know, you're a Marine -"

She cuts me off. "Tonight, I don't feel much like one. I feel more like Cinderella."

"Then I'm glad I got you home before midnight," I say with a chuckle.

She smiles at my humor. "I had a wonderful time tonight. Thank you for the birthday party, taking me dancing ... just for making this the best birthday that I've ever had," she says to me.

I can feel the heat in my cheeks and wonder if she can see it. "You're welcome," I say softly, and then I realize that I left her gifts in my car downstairs, and my tone turns apologetic. "I forgot to bring up your presents from the car."

"It's all right. I'll pick them up when I see you tomorrow. Well, unless you don't want me to go. I'm sorry. I should've realized that you were gracefully offering me a way out so that I'd know that you didn't want me to say yes."

"It wasn't that I didn't want you to go ... I just didn't know if you'd be comfortable being out there with Tom, Mattie and me, and I wanted you to know that I'd understand if you didn't want to come with us."

"Why wouldn't I be comfortable out there with you ... oh, afraid that Tom will want to swap beverage recipes?" She catches on to my line of thought part way through.

"No. It's just that he's new to sobriety, so I don't want him bugging you with any questions about how you've gotten by or ... "

Two of her fingers cover my lips to hush my words. "That's very thoughtful, but, as someone who's given up the habit, fallen off the wagon and gotten back on, it's my duty to help him get to where I am if I can."

"Then I'll see you tomorrow. It's close to midnight, Cinderella. You'd better get inside," I say, not wanting to rush her, but if I stand here any longer, I'm going to kiss her, and that could spoil the whole evening.

"I've got nine minutes and forty seconds left." She pauses and, when she speaks again, she sounds almost shy. "Would you do me a favor?"

"If I can, sure," I answer, figuring that she's changed her mind about meeting us at my place or that she wants me to bring up her presents from the car after all.

"To make this evening perfect, Prince Charming would kiss Cinderella goodnight."

All the air escapes from my lungs at the comprehension of her request. She wants me to kiss her. My lungs burn, wanting air, but I can't seem to breathe. It isn't that I haven't thought about kissing her at least a dozen times tonight. In fact, I've thought of kissing her at least three times since we've been standing here at her door, but I want to kiss her like we've been on a date, several dates ... like I love her, and I don't think that's what she means.

"Forget I asked," she says disappointedly, but with no hint of anger.

She turns to enter her apartment, and my hand catches her elbow, turning her towards me. I hold onto it gingerly as I move my face towards hers. The moment seems to be playing out in slow motion. As my anticipation of contact with her grows, my eyes close and, finally, my lips settle onto hers.

The moment our lips make contact, I want to pull her to me, deepen the kiss ... scoop her up into my arms, take her inside and love her fears and doubts away about a life with me.

I have to pull my lips from hers before I do something to ruin her birthday and my chances to ever have her in the way that I want her. I can't betray her trust in me.

"It's two minutes until midnight," she says when my lips part from hers.

"Good night ... .Cinderella."

"Good night, Prince Charming," she says before turning and entering her apartment.

When she's tucked away safely inside for the night, I turn away from her closed door, hoping, no, praying that she felt the pull of our hearts the way I did. We belong together. We'll make it, if we try it.

THE NEXT DAY

HARM'S SUV

LATE AFTERNOON

AFTER LEAVING BLACKSBURG

HARM'S POV

I spent most of the morning worrying that the kiss between Mac and me last night would change the relaxed feeling that we've been experiencing since we've been spending more and more time together. I was so on edge and distracted by it, in fact, that I'll bet my behavior made Mattie think that I knew that she and her father had picked today to talk to me about her custody. However, when Mac showed up at my door, and I stopped worrying, that should've told Mattie that it hadn't been her custody that I'd been anxious about.

It isn't that I wasn't expecting the custody discussion, but, since school starts in only a couple of weeks, I was hoping that I'd been wrong about my time as her guardian being over, so I wasn't ready for the news today.

The sound of Mac's voice pulls me from my thoughts. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm okay." I shrug my shoulders and begin again. "It isn't like I didn't know it was coming ... " I let my voice trial off.

MAC'S POV

The timing of our arrival in Blacksburg was lunchtime, so we met Tom at a diner - Mattie's idea of fine cuisine.

As Harm was paying the check, Mattie announced that she needed to use the ladies room. When she looked at me before she left the table, I got the feeling that it was a signal for me to join her, so I excused myself from the table, as well.

When I walked into the small, two-stall, two-sink restaurant restroom, I found that my instincts were right on target. Mattie was standing at the sink, not even pretending to have actually needed to come in here for any reason, even washing her hands or combing her hair.

"I knew that Jennifer would've understood my signal, but I wasn't sure that you would. I'm glad you did."

"I thought when you invited me to tag along last night that you had something on your mind, but I wasn't sure that I was right because you're much closer to Jennifer. I thought you'd want to talk to her about anything that was bothering you."

"This is kind of hard because I don't really know you that well, but you know Harm, and this is really about him. Anyway, I want to know if you'll keep an eye on him for me because ... this is harder than I thought it would be to say."

"It's okay, Mattie, just tell me. Why do you want me to keep my eye on him?"

She lets out a big sigh. "Because, before you head back tonight, my dad's going to tell Harm that he's petitioned the court to get custody of me again and ask him not to contest it. Will you? I mean, keep an eye on him for me, you know, make sure that he isn't too sad too much of the time."

"Of course, I will."

"Thanks," she says sincerely.

We went to the airfield after lunch. At first, Tom and Harm were keeping pace with us, then, all of a sudden, I was the only one on the tour with Mattie as my tour guide, and I knew that Tom was talking to Harm about Mattie. Mattie knew it, too.

"He's been so good to me. Please take care of him," she said with tears in her eyes.

"It isn't like you'll never see him again," I say before pulling her into a hug. I don't know her well, but I can tell that she needed one, and when she wrapped her arms around me, she confirmed it.

We've traveled more than half way back to DC, and Harm hasn't said a word since he gave Mattie a goodbye hug before we left Blacksburg. I'm worried about him.

"How are you holding up?" I ask with concern.

"I'm okay." He pauses and then shrugs his shoulders as he begins again. "It isn't like I didn't know it was coming ... " His voice trials off.

I reach for his hand. As I curl my fingers around his hand until my fingertips touch his palm, I say, "Expecting it doesn't make it hurt any less though, does it?"

He shakes his head, indicating a negative response, and then he folds his fingers down over mine and squeezes my hand.

"If you want to talk about it, I'm here."

This time, he gives me an affirmative nod.

*****

They wouldn't speak again until they got to Harm's place and, even then, it would be a brief exchange.

After they'd transferred her birthday gifts from his SUV to her car, he said, "I'll see you tomorrow at the staff meeting."

Mac, seeing the pain in his eyes, would offer her friendship by saying, "If you need to talk, call me ... anytime."

Harm wouldn't respond with words. He only nodded in concession that he'd call if he needed her before she got in her car and left for her own apartment.

*****

In the coming week, they'd have lunch on Tuesday and Thursday, but, on both days, they wouldn't speak of her birthday, their kiss or Mattie being with her father. The conversation would be about work. The list of possible COs to replace Chegwidden, according to the scuttlebutt, was getting shorter and shorter, and it was suspected that they'd have a new boss soon.

The following week, they'd have lunch on Wednesday, and Harm would ask Mac to go to Blacksburg with him that Saturday to see Mattie. He'd agreed to take Mattie shopping for a new outfit for the start of school.

Mac had declined at first saying, "Harm, I'm sure that she wants to see you, not me. Besides, you don't have the training to have a successful mission to the mall with two females."

Harm knew that she was trying to encourage him to spend time with Mattie, but he wanted Mac along. He was going to need her, not so much for the shopping part, but the part where he had to leave without Mattie. He was in denial about how much he missed her, so he wasn't in a position to admit it to Mac yet.

He got Mac to agree to go when he argued, "Mac, I don't know about that. She's out there with just her father. I'm sure that she misses having a woman to talk to like she did when she lived with Jennifer. I'm also sure that she'd love to have you there to talk me into an outfit other than the long-sleeved turtle neck, loose jeans, mukluks and parka that I'd like to buy for her to wear to school." Mac smiled and agreed that, if Mattie was going to go to school dressed conservatively enough to make Harm and her father happy, and still fashionable enough that she'd actually wear the outfit, she'd have to go with him for Mattie's sake.

As August gave way to September and, as the days of September flowed one into another, they continued to go to lunch at least twice a week. After that Saturday shopping with Mattie, they'd gone to dinner and a movie on one Friday night after work, and one week they'd gone bowling on a Saturday with Bud and Harriet. By the end of September, they were having lunch together two or three times a week, depending on their individual work schedules, and seeing each other at least one day of the weekend, by either having dinner on Friday night or doing some activity, like taking a drive out towards Blacksburg for a fall arts and crafts festival on either Saturday or Sunday.

They were inching their way closer together. Harm could feel it. In fact, he'd spent part of one morning in mid-September, checking several different published dictionaries and even looking for a definitive legal definition of "dating." Since he hadn't found kissing as being a factor in any definition, Harm had come to the conclusion that they'd been dating since Mac's birthday, even if she didn't know it. His plan was working, albeit slowly, but no matter how fast the gain, forward motion was progress. He didn't want to rush her or pressure her, but he sure was looking forward to moving from dating to boyfriend and girlfriend, being a couple - kissing had to be part of that definition, didn't it? He wished that he hadn't decided to do this little exercise before court because then he'd have time to look up those definitions, too, but, at the moment, he needed to get to the courtroom.

As they put away the month of September schedules, Harm got a call from a law professor who was supervising some of her law students on a project involving an old case.

When the professor explained that her students believed that this person was innocent and that she'd visited with him earlier that day and believed that they were correct, Harm had been more than willing to at least meet with the man because, if he was serving a sentence for a crime that he didn't commit, Harm wanted to find the truth and right the wrong.

When Harm returned from meeting with the former petty officer, he spoke to Sturgis about what he believed to be a miscarriage of justice. Turner wasn't buying it, but Mac stood up and threw her support to the cause.

When Harm thanked Mac for her support, the conversation took a turn that Harm hadn't expected. Mac's temper flared at the knowledge that a woman, a person who Mac described as "quite a brilliant lawyer and not unattractive" had gotten Harm involved in the case.

Harm denied that he'd taken the case to get close to Alicia Montes, and he hadn't. He'd taken on the case even though he didn't have the support of the acting JAG because he felt that it was his duty as a member of the JAG Corps to look for the truth and free a falsely accused man if the evidence supported his claim of innocence.

While he hadn't taken the case because he wanted to be with the professor, Harm saw Mac's reaction to be much like the one she'd had to Allison back on the Fourth of July. He went back to his office and decided that he couldn't deny that the professor was an intelligent and attractive woman and possibly his type, hoping that, with someone as competition, Mac would be spurred into acknowledging that she wanted him or, at the very least, realize that they'd been dating each other for almost two months.

However, to Mac, the professor was much more Harm's type than Allison, and since Alicia didn't strike her as the "casual fling type," that made her a threat to her friendship and growing closeness to Harm. Knowing that her relationship with Harm was in danger, Mac was having trouble sleeping again. She didn't know what she'd do if he wasn't part of her life.

Mac hadn't seen Harm in a couple of days because he'd been in court with the Wainwright case. With her doctor's appointment the next morning, and her worries about Harm and that woman being on her mind, too, she decided to go talk to Harm, and then she'd feel better and be able to sleep. However, when she got there, Harm was making dinner for Alicia, so she left his place without speaking to him.

Mac was crushed. When she got home, she sat down on her couch, clutching one of the square decorator pillows in the dark, trying to figure out why seeing Harm with Alicia had hit her so hard.

Was it because he hadn't mentioned that they were seeing each other? No, that wasn't it. She'd suspected that he was interested in her from the moment that she'd learned that she was the one who'd gotten him involved with the Wainwright case.

As morning broke outside, Mac had an answer. She hadn't really given it any thought until now when she'd been faced with him being involved with someone, but they'd been spending a lot of time together in the last couple of months. So much time that a part of her had come to believe that, not only had they been rebuilding their once very close friendship, but he'd been staying close - waiting for her to be ready for them to be more. Tonight, she knew that she'd been either wrong or that she'd waited too long. He'd moved on, and she no longer had the luxury of changing her mind and telling him that she wanted him.


	9. Chapter 9

OVERCOMING OBSTACLES, PART 8

THE NEXT DAY

MCMURPHY'S

1915

HARM'S POV

The bartender has just asked me for the third time if he can get me a drink. It is a bar, so I guess I should order something since I've been sitting here, taking up space where I can see the door for the last ten minutes.

"Yeah, I'll take a beer," I tell the bartender, and then anticipating his next question, I add, "Whatever kind you have on tap."

He gives me a nod and turns to fill my order while I pull out my cell phone and dial Mac's home phone number. It rings until her machine picks up. I've already left one message so I hang up.

I'm about to dial her cell phone again when the bartender sets my glass of beer down on the counter. "You want to run a tab or pay as you go, mister?"

I have no intention of ordering another beer, but I want him to go away so I can try to call Mac on her cell phone again. "Tab," I say. He nods and turns to another guy at the bar. "What can I get for you?" he asks the other patron while I punch in Mac's cell phone number.

After putting in a full day at work, I went to my place to change clothes and then drove over to her place. Even with heavy traffic, her appointment was at 1430, so I shouldn't have been able to get to her place before her, but there was no answer when I knocked on her door, and her car was nowhere to be seen.

I tried to call her on her cell phone from in front of her apartment building, but she must have turned it off at the hospital and not turned it back on because my call went straight to voice mail. I put my cell phone back in my jacket pocket before taking a sip of my beer. Where could she be? I'm worried for a number of reasons.

After court had been adjourned for the day yesterday, Sturgis, who's the prosecutor in the retrial of PO Wainwright, informed me that the student who'd pushed the hardest to have the case retried was the defendant's daughter. That had called into question the DNA on the shirts that she'd acquired, which had made them inadmissible in court and blown our case out of the water. After Alicia and I had spoken to the student/daughter, it was time for damage control.

Alicia had invited me to go to dinner so that we could talk over what we should do, but I'd said that it would be quieter at my place and, after I'd offered to fix dinner, she'd agreed to come to my place for our strategy session. Around midnight, after reviewing the reports and statements for about the thirtieth time, I noticed that one shirt had only one blood type on it. I had a counter to the prosecution's claims.

I wonder if it would've taken me so long to see it if I hadn't been distracted by why Mac had stopped by earlier in the evening. I thought that I might have a pretty good idea why when I got to my office after court, pulled out my calendar and saw the notation that I'd made to remind me of Mac's appointment with her gynecologist today at 1500.

Until then, I'd been so wrapped up with the case that I'd forgotten about it. With Alicia at my place last night, though strictly for business reasons, I'll bet that, not only have I screwed up any progress that I'd made with her, but I'm now just another man who's hurt her, especially given the information that Bud gave me when I went looking for her after court today.

I wrapped up the Wainwright case by lunchtime and went looking for her, thinking that, with a three o'clock appointment, she wouldn't need to leave for Bethesda before 1415. When I bumped into Bud in the bullpen and asked him if he knew where Mac was, he said that she'd already left for the day. Then he told me that the polygamist who he was representing may have caused her early departure because he'd said some things to her, including that he could tell that she'd been hurt by a man, but not to let it make her bitter.

I cringed inside as Bud told me of the things that his client had said to Mac, mostly because I knew that I was one of those men who'd hurt her. While Bud told me of more things that his client had said, my thoughts were on how much worse I'd almost made things, how much more I could've hurt her if she and I hadn't had a conversation about our cases last week when she'd told me that she couldn't share a man.

When Alicia started the flirtation, I responded out of habit as I've always done. It isn't that I don't love Mac - or that I'd given up on her. It was that, once the flirtation had started, I realized how much I missed holding hands and kissing a woman good night. In general, I missed dating a woman who knew that we were dating. I'd been entertaining the idea of asking Alicia out on a date after the case was over, but I was planning to date her around my plans with Mac - until the topic came up in that conversation. Mac made her comment in regard to being married, but I think that I could apply the same principle to dating her and anyone else at the same time, especially if I want Mac to believe that I want a serious relationship with her. If I want to date Alicia, I can, but not while continuing to see Mac, and I'm not willing to give up on us yet.

I try to call Mac again, first at home and then on her cell. Where is she? When she wasn't at her apartment when I got there tonight, I came here to see if she'd come here after her doctor's appointment. I was relieved that I didn't find her here with a drink in her hand, trying to drown out Bud's client's words, the sight of Alicia in my apartment and whatever news she got from the doctor today, but it also worries me because I still haven't been able to reach her. Where is she?

1920

I try to call Mac once on each line again before taking the second sip of the beer that I'd ordered. There's still no answer. I hope she's okay.

I stand, and the guy to my left who's had a few, as in a few too many, says, "You don't want to leave now, buddy. You haven't drunk even half your beer. You don't want to waste good beer."

"If you want it, you can have it, but I need to go," I reply as I throw money down on the bar.

I've decided that I'm going to go camp outside Mac's door if I have to, but I'm going to talk to Mac tonight.

MAC'S APARTMENT

1925

MAC'S POV

I unlock my apartment door, trying not to drop my cover, briefcase or the bag with my dinner in it.

I'm still dreading to see Harm in the morning, but I'm feeling better after I dropped by Dr. McCool's office after my doctor's appointment. It wasn't my regular appointment, but I wanted something to help me sleep since I haven't been able to for several nights, and now that I've lost Harm, I can't talk to him about my insomnia.

I spent most of the impromptu session talking about Harm, though I finally broke down and total her about my fertility issue, something that I've never brought up in my regular sessions.

When I open the door, I see the red flashing light on my answering machine in my dark apartment. I flick on the overhead light, and the message beacon is no longer a distraction, so I decide to get settled before I listen to my messages.

I change my clothes and settle down on the couch with my Styrofoam dinner container. I put the first forkful of dinner into my mouth, and the flashing light on my answering machine catches my attention. As I chew my first bite, I press the play button.

"You have one new message." Beep. "Mac, it's Harm. Call me when you get in so we can talk about whatever it is you wanted to talk about last night. I wrapped up the Wainwright case by lunch, so I'm going to have a lot more free time. Besides, I have something to give you. Please call me when you get in." Beep. "End of messages."

I have to swallow twice to get my food down. I hadn't expected him to call me. I thought I had at least until morning before I had to deal with him.

My first reaction is not to call him back at all and spend the next couple of days avoiding him so that I don't have to hear him confirm that he's dating Alicia.

However, after a couple of moments and another bite of my dinner, I change my mind. I might as well get it over with. I'll call him after I finish eating.

1949

I go to retrieve my cell phone from my purse to return Harm's call and discover that I haven't turned it back on after leaving the hospital.

I push the button to turn on my phone and, as the screen lights up, there's a knock on my door.

I move quickly to the door so that I can take care of whoever it is so that I can return Harm's call.

It's probably Mrs. White from next door. Her cat has probably gotten out again. I'll look through the peephole. If it's Mrs. White, I'm not answering the door. I'll feel obligated to help her look for her cat and I don't want to wait that long to return Harm's call.

After looking through the peephole, I quickly open the door. "Harm, I was just about to call you," I say, holding up my cell phone.

"I wasn't sure that you'd call me back, so I had to come over to see you."

"I did think about not calling you. I didn't want to interrupt your evening two days in a row. Your new girlfriend might think that I'm a stalker or something."

"She isn't my girlfriend," he denies adamantly. He takes in a deep, calming breath before speaking again. "Mac, may I come in so we can talk?"

I have mixed feelings about letting him in, but I'd rather have this potentially emotional and taxing conversation here than at the office, so I step away from the door and move to put my cell phone back in my purse, allowing him to enter.

I hear the door click shut behind me. I've put my cell phone away, but I stand with my back to him. I don't want to see the look in his eyes, because I'll be able to see how he feels about her when he tells me that he's seeing Alicia and apologizes for me finding out that they're dating the way I did last night.

"Mac..."

"Yeah," I reply, refusing to turn around to face him.

"You'd make this easier for me if you'd at least look in my direction," he says softly.

Make it easier for him. Why should I? He's had plenty of chances to talk to me over the years and he's never bothered to consider my feelings. 'That's not completely true, now is it, Sarah?' I hate that damned voice. 'For all you know, he didn't tell you about Alicia before now because he was trying to spare your feelings. You owe it to Harm to at least listen to what he has to say.'

I turn around to face him, but I can't raise my eyes to meet his. Instead, I fix my eyes to a place on the floor. "Harm, I'm not thinking clearly tonight. I just don't think that this is a good time for us to talk." I hear him take a step and I know that it isn't towards the door because now I can see the toes of his shoes. He's moved closer to me. "We should talk -"

He cuts me off. "Mac, I don't want you to talk about anything that you're not ready to talk about, but I have a gift for you, and there's something that I'd like to say to you. Then I'll go." He's lifting a gift box, a box that I didn't notice him holding when I opened the door, and my eyes lift to briefly look at him before taking the offered box.

"You look so sad tonight. I hope this cheers you up." His tone is sincere.

I pull the ribbon off one corner, freeing the lid. I lift the lid and, when I see the contents, the emotions of that night flood through me and tears start to form in my eyes.

I feel his hand touch my elbow. "Mac, I didn't mean to upset you. I saw it in a shop at the airport in Kansas City while I was waiting for my flight back to DC after Wainwright refused the SecNav's offer to release him. When I saw it, I thought of the night that we went out for your birthday. I called Mattie to make sure that Cinderella was the story with the glass slipper... " His voices trials off, but comes back strong on a new thought. "I thought it would remind you of that evening. I thought we had a nice time," he says, feeling less secure by the second of his decision to purchase it.

Of course, the glass slipper in the velvet gift box reminds me of my night as Cinderella.

"It's a lovely reminder of our date and it was a wonderful evening, Harm." Without thinking, I place a kiss on his cheek and whisper into his ear, "I'll cherish it always. Thank you." Then I pull away from him.

I study his face for a moment as I place the lid back on the gift box. The look on his face is one that I've never seen before. I wonder if I offended his sense of loyalty to Alicia with the kiss.

"It was only a kiss on the cheek, and I kissed you, Harm. I hardly think that Alicia will take you to task for it if you tell her about it."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about ...Alicia being at my place last night."

I raise my palm in the universal sign to stop. "You're a handsome man and she's an attractive woman. You don't need to explain. I saw what happens next on the Discovery Channel."

"Mac, she was there because we needed some place quiet to talk. Sturgis had me on the ropes with an eleventh hour disclosure that the student working the hardest to get the case reopened was the defendant's daughter. It was a damage control meeting with something to eat, not a date."

"She's interested in you, I can tell. She's going to call you if you don't call her."

"I'll cross that bridge when I come to it."

"Do you have plans this weekend?" I ask.

"Mattie asked me to come out to see her tomorrow. Jennifer has suggested that Mattie may have a birthday surprise for me. That's why I have to go this weekend since my birthday is Monday."

"Is there any one whipping you up a special dinner on Monday evening for your birthday?" I ask, trying not to sound too much like I'm fishing to see if there's anyone else in his life that I need to know about.

"No, I guess I'll spend Monday night curled up with a good book," he says with a grin, repeating the words that I'd said about my birthday.

"No, you won't. You're going to spend Monday evening here with me. Since it's your birthday, I'm going to cook for you for a change."

"Sounds good. What time?" he asks, smiling.

SAME TIME

HARM'S POV

I'm trying not to clutch the gift box in my hand too tightly, but it's hard for me to be relaxed right now. I don't know what kind of reaction she'll have to seeing me, much less how she'll feel about the gift that I've brought.

The door opens, and she speaks. "Harm, I was just about to call you," she says, holding up her hand containing her cell phone as evidence of her statement.

"I wasn't sure that you'd call me back, so I had to come over to see you," I say flatly.

"I did think about not calling you. I didn't want to interrupt your evening two days in a row. Your new girlfriend might think that I'm a stalker or something."

"She isn't my girlfriend," I deny adamantly. I take in a deep, calming breath before speaking again. "Mac, may I come in so we can talk?"

She hesitates as if she's debating if she should let me in or not, but, after a few moments, she steps back from the door and moves to put her cell phone away, allowing me to enter.

The click of the door latching doesn't get her to turn around, so I attempt to get her to look at me by saying her name.

"Mac..."

"Yeah," she answers, but doesn't turn around to face me.

"You'd make this easier for me if you'd at least look in my direction," I say softly.

After a few moments, she turns to face me, but she doesn't look at me when she speaks. "Harm, I'm not thinking clearly tonight. I just don't think that this is a good time for us to talk. We should talk -"

I've taken a step closer to her and I cut her off. "Mac, I don't want you to talk about anything that you're not ready to talk about, but I have a gift for you, and there's something that I'd like to say to you. Then I'll go."

I lift the gift box and offer it to her. "You look so sad tonight. I hope this cheers you up," I say, truly hoping that the gift reminds her of a happier time.

She pulls the ribbon off one corner, freeing the lid. Then she lifts the lid and looks at the contents. I hear her gasp. Wanting to make some kind of contact with her for my own reassurance, I reach out for her and grasp her elbow. "Mac, I didn't mean to upset you. I saw it in a shop at the airport in Kansas City while I was waiting for my flight back to DC after Wainwright refused the SecNav's offer to release him. When I saw it, I thought of the night that we went out for your birthday. I called Mattie to make sure that Cinderella was the story with the glass slipper..." My voice trials off. I've screwed up again. I try to save the situation by explaining why I bought it. "I thought it would remind you of that evening. I thought we had a nice time." As the latter statement leaves my mouth, I wonder if I was the only one who had a nice time, at least nice enough that having a memento around to remind her of the evening would be a welcomed gift.

"It's a lovely reminder of our date and it was a wonderful evening, Harm." She places a kiss on my cheek before whispering into my ear, "I'll cherish it always. Thank you." Then she pulls away.

I'm thinking about the unexpected but not unwelcomed kiss that I just received from her when her voice penetrates my thoughts.

"It was only a kiss on the cheek, and I kissed you, Harm. I hardly think that Alicia will take you to task for it if you tell her about it."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about ...Alicia being at my place last night."

She raises her palm as a sign to stop. "You're a handsome man and she's an attractive woman. You don't need to explain. I think I saw what happens next on the Discovery Channel."

"Mac, she was there because we needed some place quiet to talk. Sturgis had me on the ropes with an eleventh hour disclosure that the student working the hardest to get the case reopened was the defendant's daughter. It was a damage control meeting with something to eat, not a date."

"She's interested in you, I can tell. She's going to call you if you don't call her."

"I'll cross that bridge when I come to it."

"Do you have plans this weekend?" she asks out of nowhere.

"Mattie asked me to come out to see her tomorrow. Jennifer has suggested that Mattie may have a birthday surprise for me. That's why I have to go this weekend since my birthday is Monday."

"Is there any one whipping you up a special dinner on Monday evening for your birthday?" she asks like she's fishing for information about any other woman who might be on my scent.

"No, I guess I'll spend Monday night curled up with a good book," I say with a smirk, because I know that she'll recognize having said the same words herself.

"No, you won't. You're going to spend Monday evening here with me. Since it's your birthday, I'm going to cook for you for a change," she says with a wink.

"Sounds good. What time?" She's going to cook for me for my birthday here at her place. It sounds promising, so I can't help the bright smile that appears on my face.

"1900?" She says it more like a question.

"I'll be here, but before I go, I have to ask you something." She looks worried. "What did you want to talk about last night when you came by my place?"

She looks relieved. "Between my caseload and my doctor's appointment coming up, I was just restless. I didn't want to talk about anything in particular."

"How did the appointment go today?" I ask hesitantly, unsure if she's ready to talk about it.

"Fine, she gave me the once over and said that everything looked good. Then they ran some tests. She took some blood to have my hormone levels checked and she did an ultrasound, and ... I don't remember what she called most of them, but she's going to send the results of all of them to that specialist that I told you about before."

"When are you supposed to know something?"

"It'll be a week to ten days before she has the results back, and then it'll be at least that long until she hears back from the specialist with his findings."

"Are you okay?" I ask, not knowing what else to say.

"Yeah, I'm doing okay."

"Then I'm going to head out. I want to start for Blacksburg early in the morning, but if you need to talk or anything tonight, I'll be home. Tomorrow, if you need me, I'm only a phone call away."

She smiles warmly. "Thanks, but I think I'll find a place for my gift on the mantle, take a warm bubble bath and get some sleep."

"Okay, I'll see you on Monday at the office then," I say, trying to stretch out my time here with her.

"Yes, and don't forget dinner here on Monday night."

"1900, got it. Good night," I say, not being able to think of a way to stall any longer.

"Good night," she says as she walks me to the door.

*****

A moment later, Mac would be leaning against the closed apartment door, her internal voice telling her that she wasn't too late to tell Harm that perhaps she'd spoken in haste about him dating ... well, dating anyone but her.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 25, 2004

MAC'S APARTMENT

MAC'S POV

At my dining room table, I watch as Harm puts the first bite of his dinner into his mouth, waiting to see if my cooking will meet with his approval. I'm on pins and needles as he swallows that first bite, waiting for him to open his mouth and give my cooking a review.

"Mac, this is wonderful. I didn't think you could cook."

"Thank you," I say with relief. "I didn't say that I couldn't cook. I said that I don't like to cook, especially for just myself. It's too much trouble."

"I thought you didn't like to because you weren't any good at it, but that isn't the reason because you're a good cook."

His words give me feelings of satisfaction and pride. "I'm not sure that it has much to do with cooking. I think it has more to do with the mess and the dishes afterward."

He's loading his fork with another bite when he says, "Then, I'll clean up...do the dishes any time you want to cook."

I smile. "Deal" As an afterthought I add, "Except for tonight, I'm not going to let you do dishes on your birthday."

"I don't mind..." He lifts up a fork full of food. "...because this is good stuff," he says before pushing the fork into his mouth.

I smile and enjoy watching him eat for another couple of moments before I decide that I should eat my dinner before it gets cold.

It seems only a short time later that he's putting the last bite of his dinner into his mouth.

"That was a truly delicious meal. Thank you, Mac," he says, pushing his plate away from the edge of the table just a little.

"You're welcome. I must say that it's my first attempt at vegetarian cooking, so I was a little worried that it wouldn't be to your liking, but then I remembered your meatless meatloaf and thought that my dinner would be at least edible. So I decided that I'd go ahead and serve it to you."

He puts his hand on his chest. "Hey, it's my birthday. You're required not to knock my meatless meatloaf and to be nice to me today."

"Sorry. Why don't you go have a seat on the couch while I take these dishes to the kitchen?"

He stands. "I'll help," he says as he reaches for his plate, but I push his hand away.

"Not tonight, it's your birthday, remember? There are only a handful of things to take into the kitchen. We still have dessert to go, so I'll do the dishes later. Now go sit down before I have to be mean to you on your birthday. I'll be there in a minute."

On my way into the kitchen, my nagging little voice starts talking to me. 'Tell him that you want to cook for him more often.' My rebuttal is: 'We're getting along so well tonight that I don't want to ruin it by bringing up something personal like that.' To which, my little voice responds with a very childish: 'Chicken.'

SAME TIME

HARM'S POV

"That was a truly delicious meal. Thank you, Mac," I say, pushing my plate away from the edge of the table a fraction of an inch.

"You're welcome. I must say that it's my first attempt at vegetarian cooking, so I was a little worried that it wouldn't be to your liking, but then I remembered your meatless meatloaf and thought that my dinner would be at least edible. So I decided that I'd go ahead and serve it to you."

I put my hand on my chest as if I've been wounded. "Hey, it's my birthday. You're required not to knock my meatloaf and to be nice to me today."

"Sorry. Why don't you go have a seat on the couch while I take these dishes to the kitchen?"

I stand. "I'll help," I say as I reach for my plate, but she pushes my hand away.

"Not tonight, it's your birthday, remember? There are only a handful of things to take into the kitchen. We still have dessert to go, so I'll do the dishes later. Now go sit down before I have to be mean to you on your birthday. I'll be there in a minute."

I move to her couch and take my first good look around the room tonight. I find that my eyes first scan the mantle, looking for the glass slipper that I gave her, but I don't see it. Then I realize that the fire in the fireplace and lit candles about the room are the sources of illumination in her apartment tonight. Now that I think about it, Mac often has lit candles about her apartment, so I should refrain from thinking that the soft lighting has anything to do with romance. She just likes candles. Since it doesn't look like I'll be buying her anything from Victoria's Secret or Fredrick's of Hollywood this year for Christmas, and since I gave her perfume for her birthday several weeks ago, maybe an assortment of candles and some bubble bath might make a good Christmas gift this year.

"Harm ... Harm, are you with me?" Mac is saying.

I find that I've been staring into the flickering flames of the fire when Mac's voice causes me to snap back to my current location. I look in the direction of the voice to find that she's sitting on the couch with me, though not close.

"Yeah, I was just thinking..." I say, giving her a generic answer.

"About?" she says, asking for more information.

"Dinner for one thing. I'm really impressed, Mac. You made a wonderful meal."

"Well, you know what they say: 'The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.'"

I don't think about my response. My words just roll off my tongue and fall innocently out of my mouth. "If you're trying to get into my heart, you could've saved yourself the trouble of cooking for me since you don't like to cook and just ordered a pizza -" That's as much as I get out before she gets to her feet.

She's standing, looking down at me with her hands on her hips. "Then go see Allison or Alicia or whatever her name is and have a great birthday! I'll see you around," she says before starting to stomp off to her bedroom.

I stand and make short work of the floor between us, catching her by the arm before she can reach her bedroom door. "Mac, why are you so upset with me?"

"Why am I upset with you? You say that I could've ordered a pizza...saved myself the trouble of trying to get into your heart. Why shouldn't I be upset that you'd pick now to tell me that you've succumbed to the professor's advances?" she snaps at me.

I grab her other arm and turn her to face me. "Mac, I haven't succumbed to anyone's advances. Now listen and let me finish what I was saying before you say anything, okay?" I get a half-hearted nod of consent before I continue. "If you're trying to get into my heart, you could've saved yourself the trouble of cooking for me since you don't like to cook and just ordered a pizza _because you're already there_." I slide my hands down her arms and catch her hands in mine. "Now come back over here to the couch where we can talk while I let my dinner digest enough that I can eat that dessert you mentioned."

With one of her hands still in mine, I take a step towards the couch. She takes a step. Then I take a step, but she doesn't budge. I turn to see why she stopped, and she steps up to me and puts her lips on mine.

As she pulls her lips from mine, she says, "And you're in mine."

The kiss was really nothing more than a simple touching of her lips to mine, but, when combined with her words, my heart starts to race, and I have a warm feeling coursing through me that goes all the way to my toes.

A little in shock by what, in some ways, seems to be a sudden turn of events, while, in another way, seems like it's taken forever to get to this point, I manage to choke out, "Does this mean that I can ask you out on a date?"

"It seems to me that we've been dating for a couple of months. You've just been too much of a gentleman that you haven't been kissing me good night," she teases.

I slip my free hand around her waist and pull her to me. "Then let me kiss you to make up for that," I say before my lips descend onto hers for a kiss that's gentle and full of hope for a future together.

SAME TIME

MAC'S POV

He hasn't looked at me, hasn't acknowledged in any way that I've come into the room. His gaze seems fixed on the fire as I get closer. It isn't until I drop my weight down onto the couch and he doesn't acknowledge me that I try to get his attention. "Harm ... Harm, are you with me?"

My voice seems to have broken the spell that the fire had cast over him, and he looks in my direction.

"Yeah, I was just thinking..." he answers distractedly.

"About?" I ask, hoping that I'm not going to have to use a cattle prod to find out what's on his mind.

"Dinner for one thing. I'm really impressed, Mac. You made a wonderful meal," he says sincerely.

"Well, you know what they say: 'The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.'" Where did that come from? Why did I say that? I think that damned voice just spoke for me, but it's out of my mouth. I can't take it back now.

"If you're trying to get into my heart, you could've saved yourself the trouble of cooking for me since you don't like to cook and just ordered a pizza -"

I'm not going to sit here and listen to him tell me that someone else already has his heart. Angry at him that he's going to tell me that he's involved with someone, and with myself for opening the door for him to say it, I stand, and my hands automatically go to my hips. "Then go see Allison or Alicia or whatever her name is and have a great birthday! I'll see you around," I say before starting to stomp off to my bedroom. I don't make it very far before his hand catches my arm.

"Mac, why are you so upset with me?"

"Why am I upset with you? You say that I could've ordered a pizza...saved myself the trouble of trying to get into your heart. Why shouldn't I be upset that you'd pick now to tell me that you've succumbed to the professor's advances?" I snap at him.

He grabs my other arm and turns me to face him. "Mac, I haven't succumbed to anyone's advances. Now listen and let me finish what I was saying before you say anything, okay?" I give a half-hearted nod of consent before he continues, "If you're trying to get into my heart, you could've saved yourself the trouble of cooking for me since you don't like to cook and just ordered a pizza _because you're already there_." His hands slide down my arms until he catches my hands in his. "Now come back over here to the couch where we can talk while I let my dinner digest so that I can eat that dessert you mentioned."

One hand still in his, he takes a step towards the couch. I take a step. Then he takes another step, but, this time, I don't move. He turns to see why I stopped, and I step up to him and cover his lips with mine. I don't know what made me do it, but I'm not sorry I did, and the only words I offer as I pull my lips from his are, "And you're in mine."

The kiss was really nothing more than a simple touching of my lips to his. My heart skips a beat from the contact of our lips, but then it starts to race as dread from his reaction replaces my happiness. What if he walks out the door?

"Does that mean that I can ask you out on a date?" he asks cautiously.

I'm about to answer with a simple yes, but change my mind. "It seems to me that we've been dating for a couple of months. You've just been too much of a gentleman to kiss me good night," I say, teasing him.

I feel the warmth of his hand through my shirt. He's pulling me towards him. "Then let me kiss you to make up for that," he says in a husky whisper before his lips cover mine for a kiss that's gentle and full of hope for a future together.

He pulls his lips from mine. "So how about that dessert now?" he asks.

"Sure, have a seat and I'll go get it," I reply, wondering why he's suddenly shifted gears.

HARM'S POV

I pull my lips from hers, not because I want to, but because I don't want to move too fast. I want to give her time to let the fact that we're going to start dating sink in, and I'm not interested in bedding her ... well, not yet. So what can take your mind off being with her at the moment? Food! "So how about that dessert now?" I ask.

"Sure, have a seat and I'll go get it," she answers, sounding a little confused before turning to head to the kitchen.

She returns a few minutes later with a slice of pie for each of us. As she offers me a plate, she says, "I know that it's normally birthday cake, but you mentioned today at the office that Mattie baked you a cake, so I decided to bake you a pie to be different."

"So, you cook and bake. You're full of surprises," I say before taking a bite of the pie. "This pie is wonderful, Mac, but I think I've had it before. Did you get the recipe from Harriet?"

"No, but you have very well developed taste buds. You've had this kind of pie before ... at Harriet's -"

"- At their Fourth of July shindig."

"Yes," she acknowledges with a shy smile.

"Well, I'm sorry that I didn't give you credit then, because it was good then, but I think this one is better."

"Harm, they're the same kind of pie. How could one be better than the other?"

"Because this one you made especially for me," I say before giving her a peck on the lips. With the fire in the fireplace yielding to more of a warm glow than a fire, the light in the room makes it hard for me to be sure, but I think she's blushing.

We finish our pie in silence. I don't want to ask what's next. I just want to live in this moment and enjoy it for what it's become, a birthday date.

When we've finished our pie and coffee, she takes our plates and cups to the kitchen, still not accepting any help from me because it's my birthday.

While she's out of the room, I look into the fireplace. The once dancing flames have died down to little more than embers, and I take that as a sign that it's time for me to go. I've no sooner gotten on my feet and reached for my jacket when Mac appears from the kitchen.

"Are you leaving?" she asks.

"We both have to be at work in the morning," I say as I slip one arm into my jacket. "And I shouldn't overstay my welcome, even if it is my birthday," I add as I get my other arm into the proper sleeve.

By the time I've got my jacket on, she's made her way to me. "You could never overstay your welcome," she says before her arms slip around my waist.

My arms immediately wrap themselves around her in response, and we just stand there, holding on to each other for a couple of minutes. She's the one who releases the hold first, but she doesn't let go completely. She takes my hand and walks me to the door.

"I hope you enjoyed your birthday," she says casually as she opens the door.

"It was the best birthday that I've had in awhile, maybe ever," I say with a warm smile. "A beautiful woman cooked dinner for me, baked me a pie and kissed me tonight. Can't get a better gift than that," I say before leaning in to kiss her, but she pulls away before I get anywhere close to her lips.

I'm a little surprised by her reaction until she calls over her shoulder, "Your present, I forgot to give you your present."

She returns a couple of moments later with a box wrapped in shiny green paper with a white ribbon. "It's a sweater. You can open it when you get home," she says, offering me the box.

I take the offered gift. "Thank you for dinner, the sweater...I had a wonderful evening." This time, when I lean in for a kiss, she's there, and our lips touch briefly before I pull my lips back again. "Good night."

"Good night," she replies, and I step out of her apartment, not moving far from her door until I hear the door close behind me.

I decide against taking the elevator and opt for the stairs. Exercise is an activity that releases endorphins, which will help ease my desire to spend the night with that woman, and, with the taste of her lips still on mine, making love to her is definitely on my mind. Now that she realizes that we've been dating, I hope that our relationship moves forward a little faster now. Okay, I hope that it moves forward a lot faster.

SAME TIME

MAC'S POV

"So, you cook and bake. You're full of surprises," he says before taking a bite of the pie. "This pie is wonderful, Mac, but I think I've had it before. Did you get the recipe from Harriet?"

"No, but you have very well developed taste buds. You've had this kind of pie before ... at Harriet's -"

"- At their Fourth of July shindig," he says, finishing my sentence.

"Yes," I reply, feeling a little self conscious.

"Well, I'm sorry that I didn't give you credit then, because it was good then, but I think this one is better."

"Harm, they're the same kind of pie. How could one be better than the other?" I ask, knowing that he might be able to tell that it was the same recipe, but wanting to know how one pie could be better than another of the same kind.

"Because this one you made especially for me," he says sweetly, and I feel warmth in my cheeks. I hope that he can't see that he's made me blush.

We finish our pie in silence. I don't want to ask what's next. I just want to live in this moment and enjoy it for what it's become, a birthday date.

When we've finished our pie and coffee, I take our plates and cups to the kitchen, once again declining his offer to help because it's his birthday.

When I return to the living room, he's got his jacket in his hand. Hoping that he's just cold and not leaving just yet, I ask, "Are you leaving?"

"We both have to be at work in the morning," he says, slipping one arm into his jacket. "And I shouldn't overstay my welcome, even if it is my birthday," he adds as he gets the other arm into the proper sleeve.

I knew that he'd be leaving tonight, but I wasn't ready for it at the moment. I move to him. "You could never overstay your welcome," I say before slipping my arms around his waist, hoping that he'll stay just a little bit longer.

His arms wrap around me. After embracing for a couple of minutes, I think I can say good night to him, and I release my hold on his waist, but still wanting contact with him, I take his hand and walk him to the door.

"I hope you enjoyed your birthday," I say casually, trying not to give away how much I wish he'd stay and hold me tonight while I sleep.

"It was the best birthday that I've had in awhile, maybe ever," he says with a warm smile. "A beautiful woman cooked dinner for me, baked me a pie and kissed me tonight. Can't get a better gift than that."

Oh, no, I forgot to give him his birthday gift. I pull away from him and dart towards my bedroom. Not wanting him to leave until I return, I call out over my shoulder, "Your present, I forgot to give you your present."

I return with a box wrapped in green paper with a white ribbon. "It's a sweater. You can open it when you get home," I say, offering him the box.

He takes the offered gift. "Thank you for dinner, the sweater...I had a wonderful evening," he says before his lips briefly touch mine in a sweet and tender kiss before he says softly, "Good night."

"Good night," I reply. He steps out of my apartment, and I close the door behind him.

THIRTY-FIVE MINUTES LATER

HARM'S POV

Mac answered just after the third ring. "Hello."

"Hey, I'm sorry to call so late. I hope I didn't wake you, but I have something that I wanted to ask you." I feel like a teenager again, trying to ask a girl out. I've got butterflies in my stomach.

"It's okay. You didn't wake me. What did you want to ask me that couldn't wait until I see you at the office tomorrow?"

"It could've waited until tomorrow, but my question is of a personal nature, so I didn't think that I should ask you at the office," I reply, wondering if I sound as nervous as I feel.

"What is it that you'd like to know?" she asks.

"I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me this weekend," I ask apprehensively. The fact that she'd agreed that we were dating seems surreal to me.

"When?" she asks, sounding excited.

"It's up to you. We could go out to dinner on Friday night, but dinner wouldn't give many people an opportunity to see the new sweater that I got for my birthday," I say while running my fingertips over the cashmere sweater in the box on my counter. "So maybe I could pick you up Saturday at, say noon, and take you to lunch. Then we could go bowling, take a drive or something that you come up with. Then, after dinner, I'd take you home," I say nervously, not because I think she'll say no since she asked when so excitedly, but because I'd rather see her on Saturday and make a day of it than see her on Friday after work, and I'm nervous that she'll want to start dating in smaller blocks of time and pick Friday.

"I think, in order for the most people possible to see your sweater, we'd have to stay out longer and go to more than one place, so I think that Saturday would be best for that, don't you?" He could hear the smile in her voice.

"I do think that's the best way, yes. So, I'll pick you up at noon, then?" I wonder if she can hear the smile in my voice now.

"Yes, noon would be fine...and, Harm, I'd like to clarify something so that things aren't awkward on Saturday. Are you asking me out on a real date?"

"Yes, a real date - one with a good night kiss. Sweet dreams, Mac."

"Good night, Harm."

MAC'S POV

My cell phone is ringing. I manage to flip it open on the third ring. "Hello."

"Hey, I'm sorry to call so late. I hope I didn't wake you, but I have something that I wanted to ask you," Harm says into my ear.

"It's okay. You didn't wake me. What did you want to ask me that couldn't wait until I see you at the office tomorrow?" I ask curiously.

"It could've waited until tomorrow, but my question is of a personal nature, so I didn't think that I should ask you at the office." His voice sounds shaky, like he's nervous.

Given our talk earlier this evening about dating, I wonder what kind of personal question he might want to ask me. I have to swallow down the lump in my throat before asking, "What is it that you'd like to know?"

"I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me this weekend."

He's asking me out on a date. "When?" I ask, sounding more excited than I expected.

"It's up to you. We could go out to dinner on Friday night, but dinner wouldn't give many people an opportunity to see the new sweater that I got for my birthday, so maybe I could pick you up on Saturday at, say noon, and take you to lunch. Then we could go bowling, take a drive or something that you come up with. Then, after dinner, I'd take you home." Mmmm, he sounds a little nervous, but, from what he just said, it sounds like he wants me to pick Saturday.

"I think, in order for the most people possible to see your sweater, we'd have to stay out longer and go to more than one place, so I think that Saturday would be best for that, don't you?" I say, glad that he can't see the ear-to-ear smile that had begun and spread across my face the moment I realized that he was calling to ask me out on a date.

"I do think that's the best way, yes. So, I'll pick you up at noon, then?" I can hear the smile in his voice, too.

"Yes, noon would be fine..." I hate to ask, but I don't want to be disappointed on Saturday. "...and, Harm, I'd like to clarify something so that things aren't awkward on Saturday. Are you asking me out on a real date?"

"Yes, a real date - one with a good night kiss. Sweet dreams, Mac."

"Good night, Harm."

EPILOGUE

It turned out that the biggest obstacle had been their fear of losing their friendship by attempting romance, but once they'd faced that fear by going on their first date, their life together had fallen into place.

There had been no reason to worry. They were best friends, in love and happy to face life's obstacles together.

In later years, when one of their two children, a boy and a girl, asked about the glass slipper that Mac had always kept on her bedside table, Mac would recount her first date with Harm and tell them why the memento, reminding her of that night, had been by her bedside since the night that he'd given it to her.

Upon hearing what Mac had told their children, Harm told tell them that, though they had gone out on her birthday, that hadn't been their first date. He would insist that their first real date had been the Saturday after his birthday, when they'd both known that they were on a date.

The End.


End file.
